Love Never Fades
by Isabella Ever-Rose
Summary: Rose was 17 when she got pregnant. She didn't want to be a parent, but Dimitri did. Dimitri's been raising their daughter while Rose was off having the time of her life. When the Academy is threatened, she gets summoned back by a familiar face to confront her mistakes. What will she discover? Will she regret leaving? And Will she accept her responsibilities or run again? After SK
1. California Love

This story has been stuck in my head for months, It came to me while i was writing my first story_ What He Left Behind_ and I just couldn't continue to write that story until I did this one, I had to get it written down. So while I confront my writers block for my first story I thought I'd posted this one in the mean time. Enjoy!

OH and I don't own anything! it all belongs to the wonderful and talent Richelle Mead!

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**CHAPER ONE: California Love**

_(Flashback)_

_Oh My God, My life was over. How could I let this happen? How could this even be fucking possible? Only me! Only fucking me! _

_I was currently in my dorm bath room bent over the toilet dry heaving, like I did every morning now, and should be experiencing this a lot, or at least for a couple more months. I sat on the cold tile floor leaning my throbbing head back on the wall, letting tear after tear run down my red cheeks. I didn't care about my reputation; how Rose Hathaway "doesn't cry" It's irrelevant now. My future is ruined by something that should not be possible, something I didn't ask for, or even want. I brought my head back up and blinked away some tears trying to calm myself down a little bit, but I caught sight of the white stick that doomed my future and sobs racked my body along with another wave of nausea. _

_There's no way I had anything but stomach acid left in me, but I don't think my body gave a fuck right now. After another ten minutes of torture I wiped my mouth and flushed the toilet and attempted to stand up against better judgment. My severely pissed off and weak body apparently disagreed with my decision because the world around me spun until everything went black and I came crashing down into it._

_(End Flashback)_

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"Motherfucker!" I yelped as I fell off the damn bed, taking the bed sheets with me. I lay on the floor unmoving, trying to block the throbbing that was coming from my head. I've had millions of hangovers in the past four years, so this wasn't anything special but coupled with the damn concussion I swore I had from falling on the unforgiving hardwood floor, it could compete to be one of the worst ones I've had. As I lay there I took in my surroundings realizing these weren't my dorm walls, and these stained blue sheets were defiantly not mine and this small ass twin bed was not mine either. What really tipped me off that I was in someone else's room was the fact there was a half-naked boy in the bed. No wonder I fell off, the damn thing is way too small for two people!

I carefully stood up holding the sheets to my chest, and silently moved around the room pulling my clothes on in record time, though I couldn't find my underwear... that's great! I rolled my eyes and continued my hunt before a voice caught my attention.

"Looking for these?" The boy in the bed asked holding up my black lace thong, with a stupid ass smirk on his face.

"Hand them over Cam," I demand with my hand stretched out toward him.

"No, you'll just leave. Why do you think I took them in the first place?" He laughed. "If you want them you'll have to come over here," He pointed to his bed and I internally groaned I was so not in the mood for this game he liked to play.

Camden and I were in the situation more often than not. He thought were in a "relationship" –shiver—even though I explained multiple times I didn't do relationships, the last one I was in didn't work out too well for me... But if he understood I wasn't in this for a relationship and kept doing what he was um... ya no doing, me to be exact, then who am I to complain? To him I was his girlfriend, but to me were simply monogamous fuck buddies. Same thing...

But right now I wasn't in the mood for one of his schemes to get me to stay longer in his room, I had a killer headache from smacking my head against the damn floor coupled with all those shots I did last night, it was probably a little spirit induced but I'd rather just blame the floor and my favorite pass time. Besides the little darkness that would leak through my brick wall, I built in my mind to disconnect with Lissa, I have had no other shadow kissed symptoms.

"I'm serious Camden I have a big ass headache right now I'm not-" his dorm room sung open catching me off guard. I whipped around, to see a smirking Kieran (k-Ear-in); I quickly shoved her into the room and quietly closed the door behind us. "I'm not trying to let the whole damn hall hear me Kieran," I snapped.

"Wow feisty this morning aren't we?" She giggled.

"Shut up!" I groaned and turned to Camden, "You know what keep them, you'll have something to remember me by," I said dryly as I slipped my feet back into the sliver pumps I had been wearing last night. I then proceeded to shoved Kieran out of the room and as I was closing the door I heard Camden's faint vice say, "I'll always remember you Ro." I just ignored him, nothing I wasn't used to, But Kieran thought it was particularly hilarious and burst out in laughter.

"Kieran! For real, I have the worst fucking head ache, and your snorting isn't helping," I snapped, she was used to it though, I was a bitch when hung over, well over all I was a bitch now, though Kieran didn't mind she was meaner than I was.

"Slut, I don't snort," She said harshly as we entered the elevator. I laughed even though there wasn't any humor in her voice, just acid.

"I'm the slut?" I asked laughing. Despite what happened this morning Kieran had a reputation here at UCSB.

"Asked the whore who has a fuck buddy everyone on campus is aware of," she laughed making a point to walk out of the elevator before I did.

I smirked and, finally able to do so, lifted one dainty eyebrow, "and how many fuck buddies do _you_ have?" I asked. I had honestly lost count in the four years I had been here with her.

She stood at 5'6 with a surprisingly tan skin for a moroi, I think living in California on a daytime schedule was the reason for that. Also unlike most moroi she has a chest, C's to be exact and an ass the almost rivaled mine, well almost... Her long brown hair, streaked with sun bleached blonde highlights, cascaded down her back in lose curls, that had fallen from the tight ones she curled her hair into last night, I guess she didn't wake up in her room either. She placed big rose colored sunglasses on her head as we moved outside shielding her emerald green eyes from the harsh sun's rays. Her facial features were soft and petite; she looked sweet and innocent, which is completely misleading because she was anything but. In one word Kieran was beautiful, and she knew it. Along her arrogance, she was a royal moroi snob, a Voda to be exact, but her snobbishness wasn't too bad, she liked to drink and lived party so we got along great. She also put up with my bitchiness, as I did with hers so I was her perfect guardian. Technically I was her Main Guardian but she had multiple others who were constantly on campus watching from afar, her parents were nervous about her living all the way in Cali and sent her down when a slew of Guardian's. I just so happened to meet her down here after leaving the academy and she asked me to be her main Guardian so her parents would get off her back. Though I really just played the part of drunk close friend while all of her other guardians made sure we didn't get too bad. I was lucky I got free college tuition, a new friend who I get to party with anytime she wanted to, which was all the damn time, I had no real responsibilities and I got paid for it.

She laughed at my last comment and threw a slim arm around my shoulders, "ok so we're both sluts!" she said joyously, like everyone wanted to be a slut, I just rolled my eyes this was normal behavior for Kieran she was damn proud of her sexual exploits, where as I was a little more toned down. "You'll probably end up pregnant before I do though, fucking around with Cam all the time..." I stopped walking, frozen on the sidewalk by our dorm, with her arm still slung around my shoulders she was jerked to a stop, which cut off her laughter.

"What the he-" she started then she realized what she said and her sunglass clad face fell and her features softened, "Oh Ro, I-I didn't mean it, I didn't even realize-" I raised a hand to stop her.

I didn't like talking about my daughter. My daughter, how weird is that to say? I hardly ever did say it, or think about it and when I did I referred to the little girl as _his_ daughter. I never thought I would be a good Mom and I was right, I mean I didn't even know my daughter's name. I wouldn't even consider myself a mother. I'm not one; I'm just a portal thru which someone was born. If I were a mother I would have raised that little girl I gave birth to, but I didn't, so I'm not a mother. I'm an egg donor… I never even stuck around long enough to figure that out what he named her, I never even held the poor thing... I had just turned eighteen when I had her there was no way I could even contemplate taking care of her. A week after I took the test I told _him_, he was ecstatic, a little nervous about what would happen to us, but overall really happy, he barely even questioned me on how it was possible. As much as it killed me to ruin his happiness I had to break it to him that I wouldn't be keeping it. I wasn't going to get an abortion but I wanted to put it up for adoption either in the human world or ours. I didn't really care which as long as it would be taken care of, by someone who was ready for a child. He responded angrily, almost violently so, refusing to allow me to go through with it. Saying that he would take care of it himself. I tried to talk him out of it that I couldn't and didn't want to be a mother at this age, if I ever even wanted to at all, but he stuck to his decision and in choosing that child he chose to leave me. That pregnancy was the sole reason I wasn't with the love of my life and I very nearly hated my daughter for it, but a part of me, and I don't understand why, would always ache for her.

"It's fine Kier," I said stiffly but added a smile to reassure her. Kieran's face brightened and the subject was dropped as she practically skipped into our dorm building. We had a dorm on the first floor it's easier to guard a room on the ground floor and to escape if there was ever a need, but Cali didn't have many Strigoi. Our dorm was pretty damn big, because princess Kieran insisted they merge two rooms into one so we could have two bathrooms, two bedrooms, a living room, a dining room, and a large high-tech kitchen. Not that I was complaining because it was a very nice dorm it even had a room for guardians on duty to take a break in. I knew her parents had to pay a pretty penny for it but Kieran, like when she asked for anything, didn't bat an eyelash.

Kieran push open our always unlocked room, not bothering holding the door open for me so I didn't see who she was taking to when she walked in, "Who the hell are you?" she said snobbishly.

"God Kieran, just slam the damn door in my face!" I knew I was over reacting she never held doors open but for some reason my headache intensified with every step I took into the dorm. I didn't even look at the person instead I made a sharp right turn and stomped into the kitchen searching for something to relieve this headache, as I did I heard the person call out my name, well my old name, "Rose?"

The person was a girl, her voice was sweet and familiar, and I skidded to a halt outside of the Kitchen and turned around, swiftly moving back to the front room. I stopped a few feet in front of the door when I saw her. "Hi Rose," She smiled grandly, a kind of smile that you couldn't helped being pulled into.

"Princess," I said formally, and did a mini bow. Her smile faltered but she held it there forcefully, trying not to let me get to her. I took a few cautious steps into the room, and took in the sight of her, as I did I noticed my headache was diminishing. She had changed a lot. Her emerald green eyes were the only things that hadn't changed, but even they were different they were slightly darker, and she had light purple shadows under her eyes. Her hair was cropped short and curled so it was just brushing her shoulders. I had to say it did look cute, it made her look mature, but why would she cut her hair? She loved her long hair almost as much as I loved mine. Her once skinny and flat figure had changed as well. She seemed curvier, her hips wider, and her boobs even seemed to go up a size. That much was obvious the way they were spilling out of the top of her light blue sundress. Her sundress was cute too it came mid-thigh with a white pattern along the hem. It had a white strip going down the front and buttons on the left side that held it together. She had the top two undone; it was probably small around the top, because of her newly gained chest. Her dress made me feel way under dressed in my skimpy black one and silver pumps. I imagined how she saw me with my hair a mess from my pervious activities, and my dress wrinkled from spending the night on the floor. I crossed my arms over my chest self- consciously, "You cut your hair?" She seemed to relax slightly, I guess she expected me to bitch her out after all these years. She patted her curls down nervously and gave me a small smile and a nod in confirmation.

"Why?" I prompted.

"Krissa's a hair puller, so I cut it to save myself some grief," She said unsurely, I guess she wasn't used to the short style of her hair yet.

"Krissa?" I squeaked. The way she talked about her made her sound like a child, was that my- I mean Dimitri's daughter?

"Oh, umm... I forgot you didn't know. Krissa's my daughter, she's six months old," Lissa broke out into a proud smile, only a mother talking about her child would wear.

"Oh, w-well con- congratulations," I stuttered. I was shocked Lissa had gotten pregnant so young, that was something expected of me but defiantly not her.

"Sorry to interrupt this moment, but..." Kieran clapped her hands together loudly gaining Lissa's and my attention. "Who are you, what do you want with Ro, and why were you in my dorm uninvited?" Kieran spat getting in Lissa's face. God, she could be such a handful. I expected Lissa to cower under Kieran's glare but instead she pursed her lips and placed and manicured hand on Kieran's shoulder, taking a step back.

She didn't acknowledge Kieran's questions instead she turned to me with a raised eyebrow, "Ro?"

I just shrugged my shoulders, "New place, new name," I told her simply. "Why are you here?" I asked restating Kieran's question. Kieran was facing me after Lissa's question and I gave her a stern look that said, "Sit down and shut the fuck up." Kieran moved away from Lissa and moved to the couch where a set scowl was placed on her face.

"I came here to summon you back to the academy."

"_Summon Me?" _I repeated my voice full of distain. "I'm not going anywhere with you, I'm staying here, with my Charge," I only said this to hurt her to emphasize I wasn't her guardian, If I really wanted to get to her I would call Kieran my best friend, but for some reason I could never consider Kieran my best friend. A great drinking buddy, yes defiantly, fun to be around, hell yeah! Someone I could rely on and trust? Fuck no... She was just too into herself to really help and care for another person, and when she did show anything not selfish it was only there for a moment before her rude snide sarcastic snob self-came back, but for those same reasons that's why I liked her. All she wanted to do was party and have a good time, and so did I, she didn't ask questions, analyze or notice anything, which was beneficial for me.

"Yes, Rose. We need more Guardians at the academies and I volunteered to come and get you and bring you to St. Vladimirs." Her face was hard, in seriousness. She didn't volunteer, everyone else probably refused and she got the short end of the stick, everyone knew this would be a hard task. "I know you have a charge now but we are pulling a lot of Guardians away from charges _who don't need_ a guardian especially ones with more than one guardian." Her eyes flickered to Kieran, who shot daggers back at her.

Even though I told her mentally to shut the hell up Kieran couldn't help but run her big ass mouth. "You aren't taking Ro anywhere, she's my Guardian. I'm a Voda who the hell do you think you are ordering _my_ Guardian to leave me?" She spat shooting out of her seat but not crossing the room. Again Lissa ignored her and turned to me.

"You really don't have a choice Rose its court ordered," she produced a paper from her purse and handed it to me. I didn't read all of it but did see Queen Bitch's big ass signature at the bottom. My face turned red with anger. This shit couldn't be happening; I couldn't go back to that place that held so many horrible memories for me. I looked down at the paper again and read the last sentence.

_If Guardian Rosemarie Hathaway refuses her court ordered duty then she shall be taken from her current residence and tried for treason._

I sighed, and glared at Lissa, "When do we leave?" I asked annoyed, there was no way I was getting out of this.

"As soon as you're packed."

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Tell me what you think, I'm pretty nervous about this since it's been a long time since I've posted anything. Don't be too cruel but I really do value everyones opinion!

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	2. It Ends Tonight

**Hey guys I decided to post the Second chapter early to hopefully attract more readers. I've gotten quite a few views but only 3 reviews so far :/ while those reviews were positive there just weren't a lot and idk if thats because the majority isn't like the story or if you all just don't want to review. So hopefully this will encourage people to review more because if I don't get more reviews and feel like people aren't liking the story I might decide to just take it down which is sad, because I already have 10 chapters written for this story :/**

**So read and enjoy and PLEASE review!**

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**Chapter Two- It Ends Tonight**

"Ro? Ro? Are you even listening to me?" Kieran asked for the millionth time.

After I agreed, or was forced to anyway, Lissa left to let me pack my things and promised to return in four hours. That was three and a half hours ago, and Kieran had been following me around as I threw my stuff together angrily She had been shouting profanities at me for leaving and cursing Lissa for taking me away, while I bit my tongue and reminded myself how much jail and or death would suck if I staked her right now.

"I'm trying to pack Kieran," I sighed, my anger about to erupt.

"Why are you even packing? You're not leaving! I refuse to let you leave your MY guardian _not _HERS!" she continued to ramble. I zipped my last suitcase; I had acquired a lot of clothes living in California with Kieran it took seven jumbo suitcases and five junior suitcases to transport all off my clothes and another two jumbo cases to get the rest of my stuff.

"Kieran you heard her, I don't have a choice." I threw my hands in the air emphasizing my point.

"Yes you do! You always have a choice Ro, you're just giving up, and you want to leave! You want me to be here defenseless!" She yelled at me, in true Kieran fashion making this all about her.

"Come on! You'll hardly be defenseless you have five other guardians here watching over you." I laughed a little to ease this tight atmosphere, but she just continued to bitch, following closely behind me as I dragged all of my bags out to the front room. But when she yelled through the door of the bathroom as I tried to changed for the plane I blew a gasket. "Shut up! I know I have to leave! I'm. Sorry. You think I wouldn't want to stay here with you, with no rules or responsibilities partying until I can't walk and getting so trashed I throw up everything but my memories? I wish I could stay I don't want to go back to that hell hole I lived at since I was four, I don't want to go back there and relive my high school experience all over again. And I for fucking sure don't want to see _him_, and that thing that ruined our relationship." That really shut her up, but I kept going. "The answer is a big, fucking, HELL NO I don't want to go, I had my fun with you for four years, and apparently the Queen has decided it's time for me to grow up Kieran. If I refuse I will be tried for treason, the Academy may be the equivalent of a jail for me, but I'd rather whither away there than in an actual cell." I kicked the door for emphasis, and let out a loud huff. What can I say I'd become a little over dramatic after the four years I had spent with Kieran.

I finished changing in peace after my little hissy fit, washed my face thoroughly, and applied another coat of my normal heavy black make up. It was about 6 now, which meant I would be getting to the academy as everyone was waking up. So I decided to wear guardian attire seeing as I would probably see a ton of people as I got there. Well when I say guardian attire I mean my own version of it. I wore tight black skinny jeans, emphasis on the skinny, and a low cut shear white collared blouse, a black push up slightly visible underneath, with the sleeves rolled up to my elbows. Since there was no time for a shower I brushed through my messy curls turning them into slight wave and pinned my hair into a slightly messy chignon and twisted my bangs into a small poof in the front. To complete my look I slid my feet into my favorite black pumps, with the signature red, Louboutin sole. They were a present from Kieran last Christmas. She had gotten them customized so that the heal came off and would double as a stake.

I grabbed all the bathroom stuff and walked back to the living room where all of my stuff sat sadly at the door. I shoved the stuff in my arms in a random bag and looked around my home for the last four years, and willed myself not to cry.

Ro doesn't cry.

I haven't cried since I left the Academy and just because I was going back didn't mean I was going to start now. As I was wiping underneath my make-up clad eyes, checking for any escaped moister, there was a knock on my front door. I snatched up my purse from the couch then answered it. Lissa was standing at the door smiling, well until she saw my outfit.

Her face became all business, "Is this your interpretation of guardian attire?" she asked dryly.

"And I love your dress too!" I said with mock enthusiasm. I noticed four guardians standing behind her stone faced, as always, god being a normal guardian was so boring. I clapped loudly and put on a sultry smile, "oh good you brought guardians, because I have tons of bags, that I can't carry all on my own. You boys think you could help?" I batted my eyelashes at them for extra emphasis; though it wasn't needed I knew Lissa had brought them here for the purpose of carrying my stuff. They moved silently grabbing my things and taking them out of the building to I assume would be the car that would take us to the airport. I also noticed Lissa had changed, I guess she didn't want to wear that little blues dress back to the Academy, because she was now clad in white jean capris, tan wedges, and an embellished light pink baby doll top.

"You ready?" Lissa asked as the guardians left the building.

"Um... Yeah," I looked back in the large dorm surprised Kieran hadn't come out to say goodbye. I mean she was cold but we were so close for years. I expect at least a fuck you, come visit soon at least, but as I stood in the doorway about to leave for most likely ever she didn't speak up.

So I decided to, "OK Kier I'm leaving!" I called out, to no response. "I'll leave my spare on the table by the door." I tried again to no avail. I sighed and pulled my large Gucci sunglasses from my purse and placed them on my face. As I turned to close the door Kieran materialized beside it, scowling.

"Bye Ro," she said nonchalantly picking up my key and twirling it in her hand.

"Bye Kier, do me a favor and keep Cam's bed nice and toasty for me," she cracked a smile at that but continued to look down at the key. "Well as toasty as you can. I mean, you're no me," I finally got her to look up and laugh.

"Shut up Slut, I'll do just fine!" She laughed.

"Oh really? And you're calling me the slut?" I winked and walked out of the apartment closing the door behind me.

Lissa and I walked out of the building in sweet silence, but of course she had to break it. "So you two seem pretty close, Best Friends?" she asked, trying to act nonchalant but I knew she was just checking to see if her position was still there for her. Which it was, but I would never give it back to her, not after what she did to me.

I just shrugged, "Ehh we were close."

"And who's Cam?" she asked, god I forgot how nosey she was.

I sighed in annoyance, "This Kid."

"Nice elaboration Rose," she said sarcastically.

I physically cringed at that name, god who names their child after a damn flower? It's the most innocent pansy ass name you could give someone, in my opinion. I hated that name it reminded me of my past, when I was weak, well emotionally. Truth is I bet my past self could kick my ass right now, I haven't done anything but party, eat and sleep for four years and I'm sure as hell out of shape. But I guess I would have to get used to that horrid name, as everyone from my past would know me by only that.

"I get that a lot," I said curtly as I climbed into the rather large van. She crawled in after me; thank god the guardians gave us the two single seats in front so I wouldn't be right next to her. "How long until we get to the airport?" I asked no one in particular.

"Thirty Minutes," the Guardian driving, informed me. So in typical Ro fashion I popped in my headphones and ignored the world.

I guess I fell asleep, I don't know how since the particular play list I had been listening to include some really obnoxious heavy metal, that Cam forced me to put on, because Lissa was now shaking my shoulder to wake me.

"Rose, Rose, were here. Rose get up," she whispered. I cringed away from her hand and her voice. Oh God! That name!

"Ro! It's Ro!" she looked at me confused and slightly startled by my sudden outburst. Damn those bright green eyes! My voice softened, slightly, "I go by Ro, not _Rose_." I spat out Rose like it was a piece of raw meat.

She scoffed and wrinkled her nose, "I'm not calling you that. Now get your stuff and let's go _Rose_." She hopped out of the van and grabbed her purse. I followed her, turning my music up all while chanting silently in my head "Don't Stake her, don't kill her, don't throttle her," and other various ways I could end her life. I looked around and noticed we weren't going to any of the human airports that she must have taken the academy jet to get here. Great that means fewer people and fewer seats to choose from to get away from Lissa.

As we got settled on our jet, I immediately took a seat in the back and asked the flight attendant for any alcohol she could get together. She gave me an odd look before leaving to complete my request, most likely because I was a guardian and most guardians didn't drink.

Well I wasn't like most guardians.

As I was putting my head phones back in a figure stepped up to my seat, thinking it was the flight attendant I took a head phone out, " Thank y- Oh," I stopped mid-sentence noticing it was only Lissa.

"What do you need Princess?" She wrinkled her nose as the formal name, and crossed her arms.

"Don't call me Princess, Rose," she said sternly.

"Don't call me _Rose _Princess," I sneered back.

She ignored me and sat down asking another question. "Why do you hate the name Rose?"

"It's weak." I said quickly, but she wasn't going to let me get away with that as an answer. I sighed, "Who in the hell names their kid after a damn flower? Its weak, and innocent, everything I will never be."

A weird expression came across her face, like something was funny but she didn't share, and I didn't really care. I just wanted her to shut the hell up, and stop with the questions, but of course she continued.

"And Ro isn't a weak name?" she asked incredulously.

"It's better than Rose."

"No it isn't, it sounds like a cheap hookers name." I was forced to look at her then. Is she serious? "Besides you're the one that's weak not your name."

I was gobsmacked "Excuse you?"

"No excuse you, Rose. I mean look at you! You're emaciated looking and you can definitely tell you're in no shape for guardianship. If a Strigoi attack were to happen I would probably be more likely to stake one than you would." Her face was so straight while saying this I couldn't believe it, I kept waiting for her to laugh but she didn't.

When I didn't speak up, because I was in utter shock, she added, "Face it Rose, you've let yourself go." She stood up and walked back to her place at the front of the jet.

My head was still spinning when the flight attendant finally made her way back to me. "It's all we had miss." She said as she handed me about six mini bottles of Jack Daniels.

"It's fine, all take anything at this point," I murmured. With one more glance back she walked away to her designated area.

Damn today was going to be a long day.

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**Wellllllll? What did you think? I know it was a little boring but the next chapter will have more excitement I promise! Though I wont lie, we have a while before we see Dimitri of his child. **

**Please review guys! I really need to know what ya'll are thinking so I can decide to continue this story or not. 3 reviews just aren't enough.**

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**PS review makes me update faster, I've already got the chapters written and if you review I may be more like to update sooner and not wait a whole week! just some incentive ya'll.**


	3. Drink

**Hey Guys! Well heres update number three! I really hope you like it. Just a warning there is a M rated scene in here. My story is rated M so yes there will definitely be lemons. I love me some lemons. Just wanted to give ya'll a fair warning incase lemons aren't you guys thing. **

**Anyway! Enjoy and REVIEW.**

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**Chapter 3: Drink**

One Shot.

...

Two Shot.

...

Three Shot.

...

Four! I took those bottles to the head and then had one fucking more!

I giggled to myself as I rearranged the lyrics in the song to fit my current situation. I wasn't drunk, just tipsy, but give me an hour and I could change that. I was treating the bottles as shot glasses and downing each one altogether each bottle was the size of a double shot, but I wasn't a bitch and knew what I could handle. Too bad the song didn't include a sixth shot, because the last Jack Daniels was so lonely, I couldn't leave him by himself so I drank him A cappella.

So two hours, six large shots, and multiple fruit drinks later, the jet had landed in the most boring place on earth, Missoula, to drop off a very tipsy, boarder line drunken, Hathaway. I was the last one off of the plane, walking as slowly as drunkenly possible off of the plane, delaying actually going inside the Academy.

"Rose!" Lissa shouted, impatiently tapping her foot.

"I'm coming, I'm coming!" I shouted back. "Who has my shit?" I asked when I was finally out.

"Their bringing your _stuff_ into the guardian building, we'll bring them to your room once we get your room assignment. Now _we_ get to go talk to Alberta, I'm sure she's missed you." Lissa smiled at me, but I only frowned. I began to follow her but when my pace didn't please her she took my arm to force me to speed up. Halfway through the academy I recognized the way she was walking, straight through the dining hall. Being drunk didn't equal stupid ness, at least not in me, I may have been gone for four years but I spent my whole life here I knew the ins and outs of this place. Instead of protesting, not wanting to give Lissa the satisfaction of getting under my skin, I shoved my sunglasses back on my face and yanked my arm out of her grasp and walked, maybe even stumbled, ahead.

I heard her sigh but she didn't vocalize anything. The clicking of my heels caused everyone enjoying their breakfast to stop and stare, including the guardians, through all the murmurs wondering, who I could be; I never looked their way. I just marched straight through and to hall where the offices were kept.

"Um... Rose? We aren't going that way," Lissa told me pointing to the faculties' smaller dining hall. Now this I paled at. "Alberta is eating breakfast with The Headmistress so I told her we would meet in here; I mean you have to be hungry right?" Lissa added sweetly. I slowly nodded my head but in reality the alcohol combined with seeing the people behind this door, made my stomach twist and turn. If I were to add any morsel of food, I may be inclined to throw it all up. Without any hesitation she opened the double doors and walked to the table, that of course had to be all the way in the fucking back, where Alberta and Kirova sat with a few guardians I recognized, one of which being Stan. Ops ,my bad Guardian Alto.

As I walked by, I saw a lot of my old teachers and guardians from my time here at the academy; I even saw some of my Classmates had apparently decided to become teachers and guardians here. Though no one talked to me, I knew they were all watching from the corner of their eyes. My drunken mind wanted me to flip them all off and give them something to really look at but I somehow restrained myself.

Thankfully _he_ wasn't in the dining hall; at least I had some time before I had to deal with being around him, and his child. Lissa sat down across from Alberta and gestured for me to as well, I wrinkled my nose slightly, not in the mood to exchange pleasantries at the moment, but the sight of the food at the table had me rethinking. I guess I was hungrier than I had thought.

"I know you're hungry Rose-"

"Ro"

"So sit and eat." She continued, ignoring me.

I rolled my eyes and plopped ungracefully next to her, devouring any food within reach. "Well you still have the same appetite as when you left," Alberta laughed slightly watching me eat like a starving child.

"Probably has something to do with the drinks she had on the plane," Lissa commented quietly. Alberta didn't comment but raised her eyebrows at me for an explanation.

"I'm not drunk if that's what you're thinking," I defended. "There wasn't enough alcohol on the plane for that."

It was oddly silent for a few moments before Alberta turned into head guardian mode and laid down "the rules" I was supposed to follow. Which were standard rules that I already knew the only one I had a problem with was the "no drinking on duty rule."

"But that's like all the time!" I argued standing up from the table.

"Welcome to the real world Rose, and say goodbye to the mock guardianship you once knew," Kirova interjected with a smirk.

"Well I don't want to be in _your_ real world! I want to go back to college with my REAL charge and my REAL friends. Doing what I REALLY want, not what I'm being forced to do!" I growled causing people to stare at me.

"Well that's your problem, and this is one you can't run away from so stop whining and learn to deal with what you're dealt. You've been acting like a child for almost four years now and I suggest you grow up fast," she stood up from the table then and handed me a paper I assumed was my room assignment. "You have now placed yourself on probation; you want to act like a child you will be treated as such. Your room will be searched for ANY substance I deem inappropriate every week, randomly. As you don't look like you could even take me on in a fight let alone a Strigoi, You're going get your old training sessions back." The bitched smiled at me sweetly, like she was giving me a break, I just scowled in return. "Do you understand Miss Hathaway?" She asked snidely placing her hands on the table and leaning forward. I didn't move, speak or even blink. I was furious to the point of immobility. "Miss Hathaway I asked you a question," Kirova repeated multiple times. It wasn't until she yelled, "Rose!" I finally snapped. In the fastest motion I had made in a very long time, I lifted my foot, unclicking the heel, exposing the sliver stake hidden within my shoe, and slammed it down on the table between Kirova's hands. The sharp point of the stake digging into the wood, and the hilt pointing upwards swaying slight from side to side.

"My name is not _Rose_," I sneered. "And yes I can sure as hell understand you."

"Miss Hathaway!" Kirova gasped in shock, anger, and disbelief. Lissa immediately jumped up to explain.

"_Guardian_ Hathaway!" I growled back.

"Headmistress! Rose isn't being herself. She's drunk! Please excuse her behavior," she begged for me.

I laughed out loud, "Oh no, I'm not drunk! But I will be!" I rummaged through my purse and found another bottle of Jack and took a sip. "I'll be going to my room now," I announced not wanting to hear any more of their bullshit. I grabbed my stake from the table, smirking at the nice sized hole that was now permanently dug in there and clicked it back in.

So for the second time today chin up high, and sunglasses poised on my face, I walked out like I owned the place. As I came to the doors I made sure to turn back around, "You know what I wouldn't want to break my probation now would I Kirova?" I lifted the bottle to my lips and downed the rest of the Jack it contained, and threw it in the trash. "There! Now I can't store it in my room," I said sarcastically. I began to push the doors open when I turned around again with a smile on my face, "It's a good thing I'm not on duty, because I think I'm drunk!" I laughed obnoxiously and walked away from the stunned, pissed, shocked, and dumfounded looks of my new coworkers.

I stumbled out of the room and rushed out of the building all together and sat on a bench just to the side of the cafeteria, I slide off my shoes setting them beside me and turned my face upward toward the night sky, taking a deep breath.

"Little Dhampir, you do know sunglasses are of no use during the night time," a voice laughed from beside me. I instantly smiled at the voice, but didn't open my eyes or turn to them at all.

"It's day time where I am," I giggled drunkenly, I really wasn't kidding about being drunk.

"And where exactly would that be?" he asked amused.

"Cali. I'm on the beach soaking up sun, and sipping on a margarita. Actually I'm anywhere but the nonalcoholic wasteland that is St. Valds." I wrinkled my nose, I was done playing this game, and it was quickly becoming boring for me and reminding me just how depressing this place was.

"Wasteland? Yes. Nonalcoholic? I would have to disagree with you there my friend." That instantly grabbed my attention.

"Are you implying that you're harboring liquids of the alcoholic variety while we're sitting here becoming more and more sober by the minute?" I asked teasingly.

He laughed, "I'm more than implying."

This is why I liked Adrian, not only was he a fabulous drinking buddy, a very hot one I might add, but he was just plain fun and usually upbeat He was the only one who didn't treat me like shit when I decided not to raise the baby. He treated me like nothing had happened, he was a true friend. A friend whose ass was looking cute in those jeans, just throwing that out there.

I shoved my feet back in my heels and stood up. "Well since my room is under a very bitchy and watchful eye, I concur that we will have to take this small party back to your place!" I giggled. "And where exactly is that?" I spun in a happy circle gesturing to our surroundings.

Answering my unspoken question of where he was staying, he swiftly took my hand and pulled me into the direction of the teachers building. I contained myself as we walked into the building, not wanting to draw unnecessary attention to myself, and alert Kirova to my where abouts. Once we entered the room I busted out in laughter, "A teacher?" I laughed even harder as I kicked off my heels and clutched my stomach.

"I wouldn't exactly call myself a teacher," he smirked while pouring two drinks. He took a long drink of one and extended the other out to me, "I'm more of a rarely there assistant."

"And are you going to make an appearance in class today?"

"Nope, I'm going to take a metal health day today."

I laughed slightly and walked up to him about to grab the drink when I noticed a whole bottle of Russian vodka sitting on the glass shelf behind him. Ironic that Russian vodka had quickly become my favorite once I left the academy. I snatched up the bottle and began pour multiple shots. Adrian downed the drink he had poured for me and leaned against the counter watching me pour ten shots.

"I know you are not about to take all those shots little dhampir," he eyed me warily.

I sighed, "of course not!" I pushed five his way and kept five in front of me. "We're going to race silly," I poked his nose and giggled.

He shrugged his shoulders easily, and then looked at me mischievously, "and what exactly does the winner get?" I thought for a second but before I could come up with a decent prize Adrian shouted an idea.

"Winner gets a kiss."

I raised my eyebrows, "a kiss? Hmm I was going to say loser has to strip, but I guess a kiss will work..." I trailed off with a smirk.

"Hmm... Well I happen to like your idea as well so I propose that we combine them," the phrase go big or go home popped into my mind.

"Fine, deal, but you're not as drunk as I am so you have to take two more shots." I poured two more shots and set then in front of him before positioning myself in front of my glasses. "Ready?"

"Go!" I shouted giggling. I lifted the first glass to my lips and threw it back and continued at what I thought was a lightning fast movement to the next three shots, but as I started shot number five Adrian threw his last shot down and smirked at me.

"Looks like I win, little Dhampir," he grinned. I just pursed my lips. "Aw, don't be such a sore loser," he laughed.

"I'm not a loser, I think you cheated..." I argued back lamely. He just laughed and pulled up a chair to sit in. We both knew I was about to put on a show. "Fine, a deal is a deal." I tried to act reluctant but really I could already feel the alcohol take effect and I was itching to get some of these damn clothes off.

God, I'm such a horny drunk.

Oh well, on with the show!

With that thought, I reached for the hemline of my blouse and tore that bitch off.

He laughed a throaty laugh, sitting back in the chair, "Not wasting anytime with buttons are we?"

I didn't reply.

I turned my back to him and unzipped my jeans making sure to bend all the way over to give him a nice view of my ass. With one last shimmy the jeans were down to my ankles and I took one foot out of it, turning back around to kick them toward him. It hit him in the face, and he quickly smacked it away, I guess not wanting anything to obstruct his view. I mentally shrugged, I couldn't really blame him.

I had to look down at myself then. I was wearing a black bra, a black thong, my birthday heels, and a smile. Damn, I was making myself horny, and by the looks of Adrian's jeans I guess I had the same effect on him.

Holla!

He stared at me. He literally stared at me, speechless. His face didn't show it but I could see the lust in his eyes. I felt like prey knowingly strutting my stuff in front of a Predator begging to be pounced on.

I slowly stalked towards him, swaying my hips, and reaching to mess up my hair, like a Victoria's secret runway model. Well a totally drunken Victoria's Secret Runway Model.

For dramatic flare I puckered my lips and blew that fucker a kiss. Squinting to see him, I gave him my sexiest sultry bedroom-eyes, and a man-eating smile. When I approached him, he leaned back further, welcoming me onto his lap. He licked his lips, and pulled me down onto him, kneading his hands into my ass, as his eyes zeroed in on my tits.

"See something you like?" I asked breathlessly. Knowing damn well how sexy I looked.

He nodded. "Jesus." He slightly bucked his hips higher, holding me on him. He let out a sigh, relaxing back again, still staring.

"I'll take that as a Yes," I whispered; as he shook his head regaining his composure. One moment I was giggling slightly, and in another his hand was snaking into my hair and pulling my lips down to meet his. I let out an excited squeal and kissed him back vigorously. His hands groped my ass and pulled me closer allowing me to feel exactly what my little show did to him. I moaned and grabbed roughly at his shirt ripping it open, letting the buttons fly across the room. As soon as his shirt was open my hands pushed it off of his shoulders and explored his chest. He seemed a little more muscular since the last time I had seen him, but not by much, Moroi didn't tend to get too big. I moved away from his lips and began kissing his neck, loving the deep moans that slipped from his lips.

One minute I was sitting in his lap sucking on his neck and the next we were moving and I was trapped between his body and the wall. "I hope you're not teasing me Rose," Adrian whispered in my ear his voice thick with lust and want. His hand traveled down my stomach and made its way into my thong. "I don't like teasing," two of his fingers slid down my wet folds and danced around my entrance but not going in, causing me to whimper. I watched in a lust fueled haze as Adrian slid down to his knees, parting my legs so he could gain better access to the sweet spot between them.

"I'm not," I panted. I wanted him so badly, I thought I had this whole situation under control but Adrian completely flipped it on me. I was about to start begging him but in one sharp movement his fingers were inside of my giving me some of the delicious friction I so craved.

I cried out in pleasure, but just as quickly as it started it stopped and I was starting to grow wary of him if he was just going to continue to tease me. "What are you-" I didn't finish because I felt Adrian's' warm wet tongue swipe from the bottom of my lips up to my clit. My eyes rolled into the back of my head as his tongue wound tight little circles around my clit.

Fuck me! Literally.

"Wasn't the bet to strip?" He asked looking my underwear clad body over with lust. "I think you're overdressed little dhampir."

It took me all of three seconds to rip my bra off of my body and sep out of my thong. I knew the faster I got naked the faster he would as well.

As I was scrambling to get the last bits of my clothes off Adrian started on his. Finally! I helped him tug his pants down, both of us in a rush, he didn't even step out of them when he grabbed my leg and hitched it around his waist and pushed himself into to me. I moaned gripping onto his shoulders for support as he pounded relentlessly into me knocking me back into the wall again and again.

Without warning he spun me around and reentered me from behind. I welcomed his dominance, back in California Camden was never like this, he never took control the way Adrian was, and I was enjoying this change of pace. At least something good came from coming back to the Academy.

I could tell he was close to cumming when one; he reached down between my folds and rubbed my clit in circles trying to get me to the edge where he was, and two; his thrusts became faster and he made a point to slam into me every time he entered me.

One-two-three thrusts later and I was gone, my whole body shook in the all too familiar pleasure of an orgasm and I cried out not able to help myself. I could hear Adrian's labored breathing and knew he soon would be done too. A couple more thrust and he fell apart joining me in the wonderful stage of post-orgasmic bliss.

After he pulled out of me I smiled and turned around giving him a sloppy kiss, he didn't seem to mind returning the kiss in a sloppy one of his own.

"I think it's time for a nap," he called out throwing something away. A condom? Hmm... How unobservant of me, I hadn't even noticed him putting one on.

"I think your right!" I told him putting my underwear back on, then stepping back into my jeans.

"Little Dhampir, after what we did you don't have to put on clothes to take a nap with me."

"Oh yeah, you see I have things to attend to," I paused to put my arms in my blouse, "I'll be napping at my own place today." I hooked my bra back on then buttoned my shirt but left it untucked and went to shove my feet back into my heels.

"Besides, I don't cuddle," I explained wrinkling my nose at the notion. I only spent a few nights in bed with Cam in California and that was when I was too drunk to go back to my own dorm, but there was no funny business in that tiny bed of his. He knew Ro did not cuddle. "This was fun though, a very nice welcome back, better than anything anyone else has done so far." I grabbed my purse and looked myself over in a mirror hanging on his wall. Adrian just sat on his bed leaning against a mound of pillows stark naked above his covers, wearing nothing but a sexy smirk.

"You're drunk," he told me rather than asking.

"Yes I am! And don't you see that is precisely the point! I have to get all this bullshit done before my buzz wares off," I put a new coat of red on my lips, and waved goodbye.

"I feel so used," Adrian commented and I just shrugged, "but for some reason I could care less," he tucked arms behind his head and smirked again. "My body is your tool come over anytime you want to use it," he winked as I opened the front door.

I just laughed, "Count on that," I called back and shut the door behind me.

* * *

**SOOOOOOOO? I know still no Dimitri, but don't worry you'll see some of him soonish. Sorry I don't want to rush things with this story I have the chapters up until 10 written and I love the way everything is falling into place so far. I promise it wont be until chapter 10 until we see Dimitri he will appear soon. Scouts Honor!**

**Tell me what you thought! Please don't be shy guys, normally I will probably try to post every Saturday but the more reviews I get the more I want to update earlier for you. Like I said I have a lot of this prewritten so I am capable of getting it out early but I only will if I get lots of reviews and encouragement to do so.**

**REVIEW!**


	4. Leave Out All the Rest

**Hey Guys! Sorry I didn't post this yesterday, I was out of town and forgot my laptop. I received a lot of reviews of the last chapter, and i just want to say that this is a Romitri fanfic but it'll take some time to get there. I can't have them falling back in love after like 5 chapter. Get real. This is Rose and Dimitri, two very stubborn people. So please be patient I promise it's worth the wait! Thank Ya**

**Oh a side note, Thank You all for your lovely reviews I'm starting to get more so I will be continuing the story! (:**

* * *

**Chapter 4: Leave Out All the Rest**

I pulled my hair out of the tight chignon I had put it in earlier, after my err... activities with Adrian it had gotten pretty destroyed. I left the teacher housing and stumbled onto the sidewalk, pulling out my room assignment paper and heading toward the Guardian building.

By now all the students were in their classrooms so I was thankfully alone during my short walk. I didn't have the patience to deal with teenagers right now, or anyone else for that matter. Right when I was about to round the Guardian building a figure stepped out from the shadows.

"Miss Hathaway, Where have you been?" Alberta asked blocking my path to the front door.

"Catching up with some friends," I said with a smirk. "Am I not allowed to have friends now? I didn't think that was on the list of shit I couldn't do," I put my hands on my hips and scowled. I hated being treated like a child and that is what everyone was doing. First I'm being forced back here just like in high school, and then I'm being put on probation, and being forced to take stupid training sessions. I'm not a student here, so why was I being treated like one?

"'You are," She gave in, "but I was coming to talk to you and discovered you were nowhere to be found."

"Talk about what?"

"Your Training Sessions will begin tonight," She informed me.

"Why are you wasting time on me? I'm not a student." I protested.

"Yes, but we called more guardians here for a reason and we need every single one of you in the best shape. You're only as strong as your weakest link," she eyed me with amusement and patted my shoulder, "and that's you Miss Hathaway." She attempted to stroll past me but I grabbed her arm, maybe a little more roughly then necessary.

"I'm a Guardian!" I growled.

She simply looked down at my hand, still gripping her arm, and waited for me to release it. When I did she spoke, "well for the past four years you haven't been acting like one."

She left then, and I watched her disappear around the corner before entering the building. I went up the four flights of stairs and walked to the end of the hall to get to my room. Figures they'd keep me on the top floor and the end of the hall so it wouldn't be easy for me to escape without notice.

I opened my door and sighed. The room wasn't as small as the one I had as a teen, but it was definitely smaller than the one I've had for the past four years. The closet was bigger than I had expected at least, though my bathroom was not. It had a sink, a toilet, and a bathtub. I guess that's all you really needed but everything was cramped impossibly close together. I sighed and tried to focus on the positive, at least it had a fairly large mirror. My room was also on the small side, nothing like Adrian's luxury suite, not that I expected that. I had a queen-sized bed, a long wooden desk a bookshelf and a chest of six drawers. Unlike Adrian's room though, my room was on the corner of the building so it came with a large window that would allow the sun to shine through.

All of my suitcases and bags were piled on my new bed and I began to unpack knowing it would probably take all day.

Not wanting to face any more people from my past, I took my time unpacking my clothes carefully folding them and even taking the time to organize my closet by color, knowing full well that in a matter of days my room would be in a mess and all of this effort would be wasted.

Sooner than I was happy with all of my belongings were put away and my suitcases were tucked neatly underneath my bed. I sighed and slipped under the new sheets I had just covered the bed with. I'm so glad I thought to bring new sheets; I wouldn't sleep on those old cheap ones the Academy so generously provided. As the saying goes I was asleep before my head even it the pillow.

* * *

"_Roza…"_

"_Dimitri I know this is such a mista-"_

_I was cutoff by an unexpected hug from Dimitri. I had just told him the worst nesw of my life, that I was pregnant, even though it seemed impossible it was his child, and he was happy about it. Happy that I had this thing inside me at 17 years old. He was ecstatic to be ruining my life. He was joyous about making me become a mother before I had even decided if I even liked children. He was grateful, he wanted this, where as I did not._

_He tried to pull me to his lips, but I pushed him away and pulled myself out of his arms. "No!"_

"_No?" he repeated confused._

"_Don't hug me! Don't kiss me! Don't smile! Don't be happy!" I yelled, exasperated._

"_Roza I don't understand," he wasn't getting it._

"_How could you be happy about this? I'm 17! I can't have a baby! What will happen to you? To us?" I explained._

"_Oh Roza, don't be scared," he reached out for me placing his hands on my shoulders, "we'll get through this, you're strong I know you'll be a great mother."_

_I jerked away and put my hands up as a sign for him to stop. "No way! Mother? Who said I was going to be a mother? I'm not even 18 yet Dimitri, you cant expect me to give up on all my dreams everything I've worked so hard for, for this mistake?"_

"_Mistake?" Dimitri repeated looking hurt._

"_Yes. I love you Dimitri but this," I pointed to my stomach, "shouldn't be possible!"_

"_Rose it's a miracle, our miracle. I know this came at a bad time but I could not be happier, I never thought this could happen for us, I never thought I would be able to give you this, a family." He tried to reach out for me again but I took a step back not wanting him to touch me. The way he talked about this thing and our future I knew I was going to have to break his heart. I knew he already loved it and I knew given the choice his love for this child was greater than his love for me._

"_I don't want it," my voice was barely a whisper. _

"_What?" he recoiled looking at me stunned._

_I cleared my throat and willed my voice to be strong, "I'm not keeping this baby Dimitri." I waited for a reply and when it didn't come I continued. "I thought we couldn't have a family, I excepted that fact. I never even thought I would want kids, I don't even know if I like them. Just because we made a mistake and allowed this to happen doesn't mean we can let it ruin our lives Dimitri. I'm not saying I would kill it, no, that's wrong but we can give it up for adoption, give it to parents who could really love it." I had to stop to catch my breath it had all came out in one really big rush. _

_Please let him be okay with this I silently begged to whatever god might be out there listening. Please let him see what I see, that this is a mistake._

"_I would love it," he finally spoke, but not the words I wanted to hear. I closed my eyes trying not to cry. "I'm the baby's parent and I would love it."_

"_Dimitri… I can't." I shook my head. "I can't be a mother, not now, maybe not ever, if you choose this baby, then you choose not to be with me." I couldn't help the tears that escaped my eyes. I was about to lose him, lose everything. I could already tell by the look in his eyes, he already held too much love in his heart for it._

_I didn't stand a chance._

"_Don't make me chose Rose," he paused and took a deep breath his face became hard with determination, "because it wont be you."_

_I looked down at the carpeted floor of his room, wishing for it to swallow me up and save me from this heartache and then it did. Surrounding my in sweet blackness taking me away from that terrible moment. _

_The moment where Dimitri stopped loving me. _

* * *

I thought I was still being swallowed by the blackness only to realize I was in bed looking up, but it was now dark outside leaving no light in my room. I just lay there while my mind raced thinking about the past 24 hours so that I wouldn't think about my dream. I scowled and sat up in bed. Why the hell was I doing this? Why was I depressing myself? Some people may think of me to be a bit of an alcoholic, and some may even claim that I was a slut as well. Not that I would argue with them, but one thing I was not, was a mope. Ro Hathaway did not do pity parties. The only partying she did was the loud, drunk, sexy kind.

With that I threw my covers back and rushed to my closet. I knew what my problem was. After my earlier activities and that long ass nap, I must have worked off some of that alcohol I have consumed. I needed more. In my closet I opened one of my suitcases, which was empty, except for a bottle of Tequila. I smiled at my friend and unscrewed the top, taking a nice long drink, letting my self be soothed by the familiar burn of the alcohol. After a few more drinks I frowned, something was missing… Music! I didn't have a radio so I grabbed my phone and turning the volume as loud as it could go, which wasn't very loud and clicked the first song on the play list. Some loud song talking about drinking and getting hoes. It didn't matter I smiled and danced, twirling around, bottle still in hand, taking long pulls from it then spinning again only to make myself dizzy, causing me to fall numerous times, only making me laugh hard.

I don't know how long I had been drinking or dancing but that first song changed into another than another than another, until the play list started over back to drinking and getting hoes. Eventually I stopped dancing only because I had a dire need to pee. Placing the bottle on my dresser I rushed to the bathroom, faster than I should have. I was beyond drunk and I stumbled into the bathroom successfully banging my left knee and shoulder into the wall that seemed to appear out of nowhere. After finally sitting down to relieve myself, I sighed feeling a million times better and a little less drunk. I flushed the toilet quickly and made my way out of the bathroom only to freeze right outside of the doorway. Standing by my dresser, holding my half empty bottle of Tequila was my mother.

The phrase if looks could kill popped into my drunken head.

"Why are you in my room?" I snapped reaching for the bottle she had in her hands.

She was a lot quicker than me in my current state and moved the bottle out of my reach. "You missed your training session." She said flatly.

"And that's your business because?" I tried again for the bottle thinking I would catch her by surprise. No such luck.

"You're drunk," she set the bottle back on my dresser but pushed me backward so I couldn't reach it.

"Again that's your business because?" I scowled. What was this gang up on Ro day?

"Because you're my daughter." She replied like the answer was obvious.

"Oh? I'm you daughter now am I? Not when I needed your support four years ago though? I was just some random girl to you, someone who didn't mean shit to you. You're not my mother you're an egg donor. You only had me to fulfill some sort of "duty" to repro-" before I could get the word reproduce out of my mouth I felt her hand collide with my cheek. Hard.

"Shut you're mouth. I'm here because I'm your mother and I've let you get away with acting like a child for too long. I thought you would snap out of this immature stage a while ago but obviously I was wrong," she gestured to the half empty bottle I had on my dresser.

"I'm sorry, if you think I wasn't there enough for you as a child. Boo-who Rosemarie," I cringed. I hated my name. She continued, "But it's time for you to take responsibilities for your actions, and stop passing them off to people like Dimitri."

Again I cringed at that last sentence. That was just low. I knew she had never forgiven me, but I had hoped after four years she could just let the go. Surely she couldn't expect me to take care of a child when I was still a child myself? No one seemed to understand; it was the main reason I had to get away, the biggest reason I ran to California.

"What do you want from me? Why are you here?" I asked exasperated, I turned away from her angrily, but I lost my balance and the floor rushed up to meet me as I fell on my ass, Hard. Ouch.

"Look at you?" she yelled gesturing to my crumpled self on the floor. "You're acting like a child! I'm trying to help you Rosemarie. Help you grow the fuck up!" I stared up at her wide-eyed, I didn't even try to get up. She was cussing, my mother was losing it and I knew a terrible storm was about to be unleashed.

"Get up!" She yelled. When I didn't move fast enough for her liking she grabbed my arm and despite our height difference she yanked me to my feet and dragged me to the bathroom.

"Let go of me!" I fought against her hold but there was no use so I just stumbled along behind, until we were in my bathroom and she finally released me. "What are y-" I knew she was pissed but I was not expecting what came next.

My mother's arm pulled back and shot forward effectively letting her fist collide with my stomach. I instantly fell down on the tiled floor and threw up all the alcohol I had just consumed. I heard her walk out of the bathroom but I couldn't turn around as I heaved over and over into the toilet until I felt like my throat was completely raw and my stomach was beyond empty. I stood up shakily my legs sore from kneeling. How long had I been throwing up for? An hour? Two? Was my Mother even still here? I moved to my sink and brushed my teeth quickly trying to get rid of the taste of tequila and stomach acid. While I liked the taste of tequila going down, I was really not of fan of it coming up. I shivered in disgusted; I wouldn't be drinking that for a long time.

When I walked out of the bathroom slowly, I silently prayed to whatever god existed that my mother would be gone.

He ignored me.

My mother was not only still in my room but had searched through it and found about five other bottles of alcohol that I had stashed through out it.

"Was that really necessary?" I asked hoarsely my throat was scratchy and unappealing.

"Yes." She said simply. I blinked waiting for her to continue, but she didn't.

I sighed, and moved to grab a water bottle off of the dresser near her, her eyes narrowed at it and I rolled mine. "It's water." I informed her dryly, sucking the whole thing down. "Why are you even here?"

"I'm here to help Rosemarie. Contrary to what you may think, you are my daughter and I love you." That would have been almost nice if she had left the next sentence out. "Even when you make horrendous choices and ruin the Hathaway name."

"Gee thanks Mom," I replied, sarcasm embedded in every word.

"You may think I don't know you Rosemarie but I do, and I know you have the same sense of duty to the moroi that I do and if the Academy was attacked again only this time you weren't able to help, then you would feel horrible, like a failure. If you think that partying and California is more important than your oath to your friends and family, you're wrong. I know you already have a list of regrets, don't add to that list."

I looked away from her piercing eyes. She was right if anything happened and I was too out of shape, or too drunk to help then I would feel immensely guilty.

So I decided then, I would go to my training sessions, no matter how stupid I think they are. And I would abide by the no drinking rule no matter how boring Missoula could be. I was sick and tired of everyone thinking I'm a horrible and useless person. I wanted to prove to everyone that I wasn't. I wanted to prove that I was right for the decision I made. I wanted my respect back.

"I'll do it," I said solemnly.

She nodded in confirmation, grabbing the bottles and making her way to the door. I held it open for her since her hands were full.

"And, Mom?"

"Yes?" She asked pausing right out side of my doorway.

"I don't have ANY regrets." It needed to be said, because I didn't.

"We'll see…" she replied lips pursed, and with that I closed the door.

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**So that was one of the first long flash backs we've seen, and don't worry there will definitely be more to come.**

**So tell me what you think! Click the sexy review button below and leave me some love... or hate i guess if you didn't like it. I want to hear everyones opinion.**

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	5. Use Sombody

** So I didn't get too many reviews for last chapter only 5 people reviewed which is pretty sad guys considering how many of you are reading this story! But I decided to post early and see if that will encourage more of you to review. If I get more reviews for this chapter I'll post early again.**

**And trust me the next chapter is one everyone will LOVE!**

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**Chapter 5- Use Somebody**

I swear I had only been asleep for 3 hours when I heard someone banging on my door.

"GO AWAY!" I yelled throwing a pillow weakly at the door.

"Rosemarie Hathaway if I have to open this door and get you out of bed you will regret it!" I heard my mother shouting from the other side of the door, probably waking up every other guardian on the floor in the process. Not that anyone would dare question Janine Hathaway.

"Okay! Okay! Give me a sec!" I called out, sitting up in bed. I apparently sat up too quickly and groaned as my room spun. Hangovers sucked ass. Too bad this would be my last one for a while if my mother has anything to say about it.

Begrudgingly I pushed myself out of bed and toward my dresser. I looked out to the window briefly and smiled at the fact the sun was still up. I would have to savor the few times I was out with the sun, now that I was back on Vampire time. Thinking that I threw on a sports bra and running shorts, wanting to be able to soak up a little sun while I could. I laced Nikes onto my sock clad feet and rushed to the bathroom, my mother had knocked again, in warning. I furiously brush my teeth and pushed my hair up in a ponytail, and looked over my reflection.

I had lost a bunch of muscle tone because of all the drinking and not working out I had been doing the past four years. Lissa was right I was down right skinny now. I still had a full chest and my hips were a little wider but my arms and legs were thin. I guess I had been doing more drinking than eating. My stomach was flat but my amazing six back was now barely a two pack. That was a thing right? I also had a singe stretch mark on the left side of my belly button stretching out to my waist. It was slowly fading with age, but I could still see it. My eyes would zero in on it every time my stomach was bare. It was the only evidence that I had of been pregnant, an incubator basically. The whole time I felt like I had a parasite leeching off of me taking my food and nutrients, slowly taking over my body and ruining my life. I shuddered remembering how I felt. Shaking my head I turned off the bathroom light and rushed to the door.

When I opened it my mother was standing there dry toast and water in hand.

"You couldn't throw on a shirt?" She asked raising an eyebrow.

"At least I'm dressed."

Rolling her eyes she continued, "eat fast, we have a lot of work to do, and I don't need you passing out." She handed me the food and turn walking briskly through the hall, as I shoved both pieces of toast in my mouth then washed it down with some water. She took me to the gym, and I blushed at the sight of it. The place where I fell for _him_. All those touches, the kisses, the sweat. I shivered involuntarily.

We entered the dark gym and I was thankful no one would be here to witness what would probably be the most embarrassing day of my life.

"Stretch." That's all she said before she did it as well stretching her legs.

"You're a ray of sunshine this morning." I murmured. Know full well she could hear me.

"I'm not here to chit chat Rosemarie. I'm here because my daughter is unfit to be a Guardian and that needs to change." I didn't even reply I just stood up, done with my stretching and crossed my arms over my chest. "Time to run."

I groaned. This was going to be bad.

It turned out to be not too terrible… The first two miles. Then my mother informed me that we would be running another four. Apparently she was going easy on me because it was my first day. Fuck.

On mile four I thought for sure I was going to die. I pulled back a little from my slightly faster pace into a slow jog, but my mother sighed and shook her head. My face turned beat red. I so badly wanted to prove myself to her, to everyone. So despite my urge to throw up I sped up to match my mother's speed. I would finish the last two miles, and then I would go back to my room and die.

By the end of the two miles I was beat, and suddenly my urge to throw up was hitting me so hard I had no choice but to give in. Right after the run was over I jog pathetically over to the bushes on the side of the gym so my pathetic breakfast of toast and water could make a reappearance.

"Was the tequila worth it?" my mom appeared at my side holding a bottle of water. I didn't dignify that with a response. I just rolled my eyes and took the bottle, swishing the water in my mouth and spitting it out. I was sick of throwing up already.

"I don't think I did so bad," I shrugged and stood by taking a sip of the water.

"Not too bad," she said granting me a half smile. "But it'll get worse, don't waste my time Rosemarie." She warned. I got the message. Don't embarrass me again, don't drink again and don't quit again. I nodded in understanding.

"This is how we will start every morning. Running, then you can eat breakfast before you start your shift."

"Shift?" I raised an eyebrow.

"Yes. What did you think you would just get your days free?" she shook her head at the notion.

"I thought I wasn't allowed to Guard yet?" I asked confused.

"Oh your not, you'll be working." She smiled knowing I had never worked a day in my life.

"Where?"

"In the Elementary Building." I blinked trying to let her words sink in. This had to be a joke. Me? With kids? No way…

"Trust me it wasn't my idea. It was Alberta's' but you'll be fine. It was the only non-Guardian position open. It'll only be until you're back in shape and actually able to handle an attack." She explained when she saw my stony expression. I wanted to protest, stomp my feet and yell until I got my way but a voice in the back of my mind told me that would not be how I won back my mothers' and everyone else's' respect. So I swallowed my pride and gave her a curt nod.

"Okay then, where to now?"

She blinked I think she fully intended to have to scream me into submission, and was genuinely shocked when I went along with her. "We can go have breakfast and I'll show you where you'll be working."

I followed her slowly, my legs were already sore I couldn't imagine training again. "When's our next training session?" I asked as she pushed open the door.

"Tonight before dinner. We are doing weights an-" I didn't hear a word of anything else she said because I heard _him. _He was in the gym with a few other Guardians. I could hear him say something in that beautiful accent of his, his loud voice filling the gym and I froze. I couldn't get my legs to work. They wouldn't move and I could barely breath. He had his back to me as he was saying something to the other three Guardians, but I didn't hear exactly what he was saying. I couldn't concentrate on his words only the sound of his voice. The love of my life was a few yards in front of me, so close I could run up and touch him, but I couldn't. Because even though I still loved him, he no longer loved me. He loved that thing. That parasite took him from me and I found myself hating the daughter I never met even more.

* * *

"_Is there anyone else we should call?" the nurse asked me. _

_I had just given birth. I had pushed the parasite out of my body, it took 18 hours but it was over now. Now it was laying in a pink cot on the opposite side of the room, as per my request. I couldn't stand to have her so close to me. _

_I was alone; I had been alone through the whole birth. My water had broken in the middle of the night and I was rushed to a human hospital since the Academy's nurse's office was not equipped for deliveries._

"_No." I said stiffly. My whole body hurt. Why women put themselves through this multiple times I would never understand. The nurse busied herself with checking my vitals then on the baby's, when the door opened. My Mother walked in tentatively as if she wasn't sure if she was welcome, but my eyes watered upon seeing her, she was exactly who I needed to see. _

"_Mom!" I cried out, she rushed to my side and smoothed my hair. One of the only motherly gestures she had ever done. _

"_Where's the baby?" she asked._

"_She's over here," called a nurse, who was finally happy someone was here to hold the baby. I'm sure she thought I was a horrible person, when that thing finally popped out of me they tried to hand her to me and I became hysterically pushing her away, making her scream. After that the nurse gave me scathing looks every time she was forced to talk to me._

"_Mom?" I whispered as she rushed toward the baby._

"_Oh Rosemarie, She's beautiful," my mom gasped at the pick bundle._

_I broke down. My mother who had never really showed me affection as a child was gushing over this one, this mistake, instead of comforting me in my time of need. We had just started to really get along but my mom shattered any sort of bridge we had built by choosing that baby over me._

_Another person I loved taken away by that baby._

_I just couldn't take anymore so I rolled over to my side and started sobbing silently. I heard the door open again and someone came in but I didn't roll over to see whom it was. I didn't care anymore. Until I heard Dimitri's voice, "Where is she?" I rolled over slowly, thinking he meant me, but he was talking about the baby, his daughter. _

"_She's here," my mother said handing the baby to him. _

_He looked down at that thing with the biggest smile his eyes full of love, a look he used to reserve for me. He whispered to her quietly in Russian and I recognized one phrase, "I love you." I nearly broke down there but I didn't lose it until Dimitri looked at me in gratitude, and said "Thank you Roza."_

"_Get out." I said my voice full of hurt. I needed to be alone. He moved to put that thing back in its crib but I shook my head. "Take it with you."_

_I rolled back over so I didn't see every one leave, but when I felt someone walk up behind me I looked back. It was Lissa._

"_I'm sorry Rose. I'm so sorry you had to go through this, but you're making a mistake. That little girl is your responsibly, she needs you to love her, and one day you'll regret ever leaving her." She shook her head and looked down at me. "I don't even know who you are anymore." With that said she turned and left me alone. Like I wanted._

* * *

That had been the last time I saw any of them, so far I had seen Lissa and my mom but not _him_. I wasn't ready for it yet.

My mom stopped walking when she realized I was no longer listening. Then looked forward following my eyes to _him._ Realization was apparent on her face.

She opened her mouth to say something to me, but just then the thick gym doors banged shut behind us and the Guardians turned their attention over to my mother and I. He hadn't turned around yet but I knew any second he would.

Suddenly I figured out how my legs worked, and I dropped the water bottle I had been holding and took off back out of the door. I heard my Mom call my name but I just ran. My legs barely protested they also didn't want to be standing in the gym. I ran as fast as I could, despite the workout I had just put my body through. I raced to my building and up the four flights of stairs and didn't stop until I was safely in my room.

I needed a drink. Badly.

But my mom took my alcohol so instead I decided on a shower, I peeled off my sweaty clothes, turned the water on as hot as it would go and stood under its spray. Letting the scalding water wash away the pain that I could no longer drown with alcohol. And for the first time in a long time I let myself cry. I cried because I had to leave my life in California with my friends. I cried because everyone here hated me, and I knew why. Mostly I cried for _him_, Dimitri. There I said his name. I cried for Dimitri, my lost love.

I just let my tears flow freely mixing in the water from my shower until I couldn't tell if they were tears or water. I washed the sweat and tears from my body until I was satisfied with how clean I was, and then I turned off the water. I hadn't realized it had been running cold until then. How long had I been in there? I wrapped my towel around me and moved to my room. I felt her presence there before I heard her voice.

"You missed breakfast." It was statement. I just shrugged.

"Wasn't hungry."

"You need to eat. You're too skinny." She wasn't trying to be rude, I could actually hear the sorrow in her voice. She felt sorry for me. For me! Now! Not when I needed her most but now.

"I'll eat a big lunch," I offered and honestly I was starving so that's probably what I would do anyway.

"You'll have to see him someday." That's my mom never subtle or beating around the bush.

"I know. But not today." She looked like she was going to say something else but chose not to.

"Well get dressed in something comfortable." She turned around to give me some privacy. I threw on a pair of black leggings a big ACDC shirt that could have doubled for a dress and then I shoved my feet into some UGG boots. Even though it was still September, nights in Missoula were pretty cold so I grabbed a jacket and threw it on.

"Ready?" I asked my mom, since she still had to show me exactly where they expected me to "work."

She eyed my attire again just like this morning. "Leggings are not pants Rosemarie."

I gave her an incredulous look, "you said comfortable so that's what I did."

"I guess it'll do." She led me out of the building and all the way across the Academy to the Elementary campus. We entered the building and already I felt weird. All the furniture was small. I was only 5'4 but I felt like a giant.

"There," my mom pointed to a room at the end of the hall. "My shift starts soon meet me in the gym right after dinner." She gave me a stern look and I raised my hands in surrender, "Okay! I will."

"Good," she nodded her head then swiftly exited the building, leaving me to face a classroom of kids.

God, I hated Kids.

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**Sorry it was so short! I hope it was entertaining at least, we got to see Rose get her act together at least and we got another flashback! I know everyone probably thought we would FINALLY get to see Dimitri and sorry we really didn't but trust me the next chapter is FULL of Dimitri Dimitri and more Dimitri! And we will finally get to meet a certain infamous daughter as well.**

**So review! If I get a lot of reviews for this chapter I will post early! I promise.**


	6. Every Rose Has its Thorn

**Hello my lovelies! I decided to post early again since this chapter isn't too long and I just could bare to make anyone wait any longer for the first glimpse of Dimitri and his daughter.**

**I don't wan to blab on so please enjoy, review and I will update soon!**

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**Chapter 6- Every Rose Has its Thorn**

-DIMITRI-

"Die!" Lily Screamed from on top of me. We were playing in the living room and I was the strigoi she had just "staked.'

_KNOCK KNOCK_

I tried to get up but to answer the door but she wrinkled her nose, in annoyance. "Noooo Daddy! You're dead. You have to lay there." Normally I would go along with her ridiculous rules, my daughter was a bit bossy, but technically I was on call and this could be important.

"I need to answer the door Princessa," I lifted her off of me and stood up throwing her over my shoulder smiling at her peels of laughter.

"No fair Daddy I won!" I tickled her side and she screamed and struggled in my arms.

With Lily still over my shoulder beating her little fist into my back I pulled the door open and was surprised to see Janine standing there.

"Hello Janine," I nodded curtly. Janine comes by to see Lily every once and a while. She usually is away with her charge and doesn't get to stop by very often, thankfully. I don't think I could handle having her over all the time. It was just a reminder of Roza, the fact that she didn't want a family with me. It was enough just to have to look into Lily's brown eyes, I know I have brown eyes as well but these weren't mine, they were Rosa's carefree, mischievous, bright brown eyes. And that was exactly how Lily acted, she was her mother through and through.

My Liliya didn't know Janine was her Grandmother and I wanted to keep it that way for as long as I could. My Liliya was a smart girl she knew she didn't have a mommy like the other little kids in her class, but she seemed okay with that for now. I tried to be both a mother and a father for her but I knew I would never truly be enough.

"Janie! Help me!" Lily screamed from over my shoulder. She managed to pull herself up to look at Janine. She gave her a big dimpled grin and reached a hand out to her. Thinking Janine was going to take her I lessened my grip on her but before Janine could take her from me Lily launched herself out of my arms and into Janine's.

My heart just about stopped, and only restarted again once Janine quickly caught her before she hit to floor. I should be used to Lily's wildness but I never would be. I know it is irrational to try to protect her from every bump and bruise, at least that's what my sisters tell me, but I couldn't help it. The site of tears in her eyes ripped my heart in two pieces. Well really four pieces since Rose had my heart already lying in two-pieces when she left me.

"Lily," I sighed. "Be careful Princessa you could get hurt you can't jump from Daddy like that." I was promptly ignored.

"Lily! You're getting so big! What is Daddy feeding you?" Janine asked over dramatically. I had to hold back a laugh. Lily was tiny, a lot smaller than her friends. It was ironic Janine teasing her since that is definitely where she gets it; we all know I'm not short.

Lily let out her beautiful smile, one that would brighten anyone's day. I lived for those smiles. "One day I'll be as big as Daddy! And then I can be a guardian just like him!" She announced proudly.

"Oh I'm sure you will be," Janine smiled at me, winking. We both knew my little girl would be short like her mother and grandmother, but you could never tell her that. Lily was a great child but had a serious temper when she didn't get her way, which wasn't often, she had me wrapped around her finger from day one. I would give her anything she desired.

"I actually came here to talk to your Daddy, though, why don't you go get ready for bed," Lily frowned wrinkling her perfect nose.

"Liliya…" I warned, using her Russian name, and giving her a stern look.

"Fine Daddy, Buh-bye Janie!" She gave her a wet kiss on the cheek and hopped practically bouncing to her room. The girl had more energy then I knew what to do with.

"So… what did you need Janine?" I asked snapping quickly into Guardian mode assuming that's why she came to talk to me.

"Well you heard about the threats to the Academy." I had, every Guardians had. We were currently in the process of bulking security round here. I already have to explain the ropes to a few new Guardians in the morning.

"Of course I've heard," I sighed. "No offense Janine, but can you get to the point? I have a four year old to put to bed." As if on cue, I heard a loud crash from Lily's room then a giggle. I pinched the bridge of my nose, and shook my head. My Liliya had already given me a few grey hairs.

"Rose is back at the Academy."

My world came crashing down.

"Why?" I asked, no emotion in my voice. I couldn't believe the words she had just said.

"She was summoned," Janine explained. " You know how badly we need Guardians and she was next on the list her charge was living in California with five other Guardians, she wasn't needed there."

California? That's where she had run off after turning her back on her daughter and I. Figures. I had thought Rose was mature, but obviously I was wrong.

"Of course you have to get a court order for her to come back here. To her responsibilities." I muttered. I was more than pissed I was furious, this whole time I had pictured rose with some charge doing her duty. Not off partying in California with some royal. All that crap about not wanting the baby to ruin her future was crap. She just wanted to be wild and free with no rules or responsibilities. I had loved her I was willing to put myself on the line for our family. I got lucky that all I had gotten was a broken nose and two bruised ribs when Janine found out. I was even luckier that Alberta vouched for me so I could keep my job at the Academy. I went through hell for her to save our family and she kicked me right out of her life, leaving me to play mom and dad to our little girl.

It makes me sad to know I fell in love with someone so selfish. Even sadder to know I'm still in love with some whom is that selfish. And I don't see my love for her changing, just like I wont see her ever changing.

"Stop." Janine said suddenly, I hadn't realized I was lost in thought. "I can see what you're doing Dimitri, it's not your fault or Lily's. Rosemarie is… Rosemarie. She's so damn stubborn, once she set her mind to something you know there's no changing it.

"She better not hurt my Liliya," I said because I don't know what I would do if she hurt Lily, she was my world now. When she was hurt I was hurting with her.

"I may not have talked to my daughter in quite some time but I know she will probably want to avoid you." She looked down sadly, she was disappointed in Rose, but it wasn't her fault.

"Okay," I hope she took the hint that I was done talking, and thankfully she did giving me a brief hug. Janine Hathaway is not known for her emotional side, the last time she hugged me was the day my Liliya was born.

"Goodnight," I said before I closed the door. I wanted nothing more than to take a drink, but I still had to put Lily to bed.

How could the girl who brought me so much happiness also bring me so much pain?

Taking a deep cleansing breath I put my emotions about Rose on the back burner. My emotional state came second after my daughter. And that was the difference between Rose and I. My Loved ones came first.

"Daddy!" Lily whisper-shouted into my ear. I pretended not to hear her. Unlike her mother Lily was a ball of sunshine in the morning.

"Time to get up!" Lily pushed my side, trying to force me to wake up. I cracked one eye open and saw her bright smile and beautiful eyes almost completely covered by her crazy bed head. I couldn't contain my laughter.

She wrinkled her nose, making her annoyed face. "Why are you laughing at me?" She crossed her arms and stared me down in a way only a Hathaway could.

"Lets go brush your hair Liliya, you've got serious bed head." I sat up stretching over my bed to lift up my daughter, but she squirmed in my arms. I put her on the floor.

"Say sorry Daddy! We don't laugh at our friends!" She scolded me. I recognized the saying from her teacher Ms. Violet. I internally rolled my eyes, careful not to actually roll my eyes and make her mad.

"Sorry Lily, Daddy only thought you looked cute." She nodded her head in satisfaction. She had such a big personality compared to her tiny self.

I got her bathed and ready, letting her pick out her own clothes, because apparently I was no good at it. I didn't argue with her. I just waited for her to change and sat her down at the kitchen table with a bowl of cereal while I changed into my own clothes I was going to have to show a few Guardians around this morning before my shift. So that meant taking Lily to school earlier than normal. Which I hated to do, it cut our morning together short, and I already worked such long hours; I hated making her stay there longer than was necessary.

"Time to go Lily," I picked up her empty bowl and placed it in the sink. We lived in the family style apartments at the Academy that were conveniently placed near the Elementary campus. Taking her hand in one of mine and picking up her pink princess backpack, we headed down the stairs to the Elementary building.

Walking into her classroom hand in hand, I signed Lily in and lead her to her cubby, helping her out of her Jacket.

"Do good today okay?" I asked.

She gave me the dimples and nodded, "Of course Daddy!" I looked at her sternly, "Listen to your teacher Liliya I'm serious." My daughter had a problem with authority she liked to do things her own way at her own time, which lead her to get into trouble more often then not. Another trait not inherited from me.

She wrinkled her little nose but still nodded, "Yes sir." Giving her forehead a kiss I took her hand and lead her to Ms. Violet, who was working on letters with the other four kids that were already here. "Hi Ms. Violet!" Lily waved and jumped up and down in front of her.

"Hello Lily, why don't you take a seat and do your letter M too." Ms. Violet led her to a chair and I started walking away. Lily could get a bit attached to me so it was best to sneak away while she was distracted.

I rushed over to the gym to meet the three new Guardians I was going to show around. I was running late I had lingered with Lily a bit longer than I should have but that's how things always were with her. I cherished every moment I had with her, because I was lucky I even got to have her.

I pushed into the gym and found the three men waiting, "Sorry I'm late. I was dropping my daughter off at school." I could feel the weird looks they were giving me. Most male Guardians weren't lucky enough to have kids, that would require a moroi woman to be have a dhampir child and most just weren't willing.

I ignored their looks and continued on with the speech and rough explanation of what they were to expect at the Academy. It was the same speech I had given about 10 times now so I had it practically memorized. Halfway through my speech their focus shifted to something behind me then I heard a loud bang. I turned to find the door swinging open again and Janine Hathaway standing there wide eyed. I didn't understand what was going on until I saw her open the door again and call out to someone who had obviously just left. It took me a while to realize whose name she was calling

"Rosemarie! Rosemarie!" I could barely blink, barely think, barely even breath.

Rose had seen me. She had seen me and she had ran.

Janine had apparently given up on Rose coming back and turned to face me. "Dimitri…" Janine paused lost for words. "I didn't expect you here." That much was obvious.

"What are you doing here?" I asked.

"Training Rosemarie." She said.

"Training her? When she left here she was top of her class pregnant or not," I defended her, I had been the one to train her and I had done a great job.

"Well it seems Rosemarie hasn't done anything in the past four years, but drink. I'm trying to help her…" she trailed off. "I have to go." She nodded at me then to the men behind me and quickly exited the gym.

I stared at the door the love of my life had just walked through with sad eyes. I had never stopped loving her, but she couldn't even stand the sight of me. Behind me I could hear the Guardians talking.

"Who was _that_?" I knew exactly whom he was talking about.

"My daughters egg donor," I muttered too quietly for them to hear. I turned around and did the only thing I could, continued my speech and prayed for the day to end already.

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**I am so excited to hear what you think! I know I know it was short, I'm sorry but don't worry we will defiantly be seeing a lot more of Lily in the next chapter! **

**Tell me what you think! I really appreciate all the reviews I'm getting from all you guys so send me more love.**

**Until next time!**


	7. Isn't She Lovely

**I decided to be extra nice and post another chapter today since I was in an especially good mood after todays service at my church. **

**So HAPPY EASTER! **

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**Chapter 7- Isn't She Lovely**

I didn't really know anything about children. Well other than the basic stuff like don't get them wet, don't leave them in the sun, and don't feed them after midnight. I think that's children right? Or maybe that was gremlins? They're basically the same thing.

I was so bad with children, this job was a terrible idea instead of risking the lives of our next generation by putting them in my care they should've just let me stay at home. I'm sure they are only doing this to keep me out of trouble. I just didn't want to be here I'm sure everyone here knows me or about me. I was the dhampir who managed to do the impossible and have a child with another dhampir. Not mention my mentor had knocked me up at 17 then I left him to take care of the baby. That was all anyone at the Academy thought of me; I was a whore, a bitch, an anomaly or all of the above. A whore because I had gotten pregnant at such a young age by my mentor, an anomaly because I was knocked up by another dhampir, and a bitch because I left them both. These people didn't understand I never intended to keep the baby. I knew the moment I found out that I could not be a mother, not then maybe not ever.

I was immature, having a secret relationship with my mentor, and going through a bunch of that shadow kissed nonsense. I was in no state to be a mother. I had hopes and dreams too. And I didn't even keep the baby and they were still all shattered.

A stray thought floated into my mind. I wondered what Dimitri had told the kid, about her mother. That she didn't want her? Or did he just avoid the topic? I wondered if he even found someone who could replace me and be the girls mom. I honestly didn't know. But the last thought made my stomach turn.

I shook my thoughts away as I entered the classroom and my eyes were assaulted by a room so colorful it belonged in a gay pride parade. I almost needed sunglass just to enter.

I knocked on the door to announce my presence not really sure what exactly I should be doing. There was a blonde moroi women sitting in the middle of a swarm of kids, reading a book. The women swiveled around, which was difficult for her to do since she had two kids in her lap, to look at me.

"Oh hi!" her voice was like bells. Extra sugary and high pitched the kind of voice that after a while would probably get on your nerves but was perfect for working with kids. She lifted the kids off of her lap and came to great me. "I'm Violet, you must be the Guardian they told me was coming to help out for a few weeks."

"Uhh, yeah that's me," I smiled weakly.

"I'm sorry I'm bad with names, I know I have the paper they sent me with your name somewhere on my desk, but lord knows I'd never find it." She gestured to a desk that was piled high with paper, crafts, and child art. It was so messy I couldn't tell if it was wooden or metal on top.

"That's okay, I'm," I thought for a second before I answered. If I told her Rosemarie she would probably know instantly who I was, and I didn't want to spend the next couple of weeks working with someone who was judging me the whole time. So instead of Rosemarie I told her, "Marie."

She smiled brightly and turned to the children waving me forward closer to them.

"Friends, this is our new teacher Miss Marie, can you tell Miss Marie hi?" she trilled in her ridiculous high voice.

"Hi Miss Marie," 20 little voices called out to me. I waved at them awkwardly.

"Class do we know which letter Miss Marie's name starts with?" Violet asked the kids. No one answered. Could these kids not read yet? They seemed big enough but again I knew nothing about children.

Violet was about to give up on her question when a little girl in the back called out, "M!" proudly. She was tiny a lot smaller than her bigger peers she was also one of the only three dhampir girls in the class and all the boys in here made her look tiny. Poor kid hopefully she could learn to fight. I know how tough it was to be the smallest. Good thing I was also the toughest.

Violet clapped and smiled, "Good job Lily!" I wrinkled my nose, a flower name too; poor kid couldn't catch a break.

"Our letter of the week is M," Violet explained. "So I'm reading _Are you my Mother? _You can come sit with us." She smiled at me and moved back to her place with the kids. Two of them immediately jumped in her lap. Jeez they were like vultures for attention. I sat in the back hoping no one would bother me or try to get in my lap. That was not about to happen.

I was minding my own business listening to Violet when this kid just crawled up to me and sat in my lap. It was the tiny flower girl.

"No sorry, this isn't a seat," I told the child picking her up and setting her beside me.

She wrinkled her little nose but didn't protest otherwise. Good, I didn't need to get in a fight with some little brat on my first day.

I tried to ignore the little flower girl who sat too close to me for comfort, but she was staring at me, looking up at me with these piercing brown eyes. Finally trying to break the awkward tension I smiled at the girl, which turned out to be a huge mistake. She took that smile as an opening to start talking to me.

"Hi I'm Lily!" the girl announced in a whisper yell.

"Um… Hi," I said back awkwardly, rolling my eyes at her ridiculous name.

"That's rude," flower girl claimed her hands on her hips.

"Excuse you?" I asked astonished this tiny girl had such nerve.

"Daddy says it's rude to roll your eyes at people, you need to apologize to me."

"Did your Daddy also tell you it's rude to talk back to your teachers kid?" I know she was just a kid and I should've just apologized and moved on but this kid was getting under my skin. I was already sick and tired of people telling me what to do.

"My names not kid, it's Lily!" she was getting mad. Her little face was turning red.

"Trust me kid is better than your real name, nothing is worse than being named after a flower." I murmured. I knew she could hear me but before she had a chance to reply Violet called all the kids attention and announced they could free play at any station they wanted. Which meant I could get away from this midget.

I stood up and began walking to a chair to sit and "supervise". When I felt a little presence behind me. I looked back and saw the flower girl, I mean Lily following me. I sat down in the chair and she just stood there looking at me.

"What?" I asked annoyed.

"Why are you wearing a T-Shirt as a dress?" she asked giving me an innocent looking smile, but I knew she was anything but.

"You're going to question my outfit choice? You're wearing a Dora the explorer T-shirt. No mom should put their kid in anything with Dora on it, it's lame." Call me mean, I don't care, but this kid was making my already shitty day even worse.

Lily looked down at her feet and said something in another language. Russian maybe? Okay maybe I had been too harsh.

"Look ki- Lily, I was just kidding Dora is pretty cool." I back peddled looking around nervously I didn't want Violet to see me picking on a kid. Shit.

"I don't have a mommy," she peeked up at me through her lashes. Double shit. Now what I had said was three times as mean. I had to think of something before she cried. Too bad I knew nothing about kids.

"Um… that's okay Lily, at least you have a daddy, I don't have one," I tried to relate, not sure if it would actually work.

"Oh, I'm sorry. You can play with my daddy if you want," she looked up at me again, tears no longer in her eyes. Thank god. I lifted a single eyebrow, in question. Play with her daddy? I'm sure the kid didn't have the same definition of play as I did.

She smiled a bright smile at me. "My Daddy can do that too!"

"You're Daddy must be pretty cool then." I said with a little chuckle. Okay I had to admit the kid was kind of cute, and had a lot of attitude, despite her god awful name. There was something so familiar about her. She had tan skin, and dark brown hair with a hint of red. I'd always envied my Mother's red hair and wished I had gotten some of it. Her eyes were an incredible shade of brown, but not a flat dull brown, her eyes seemed to dance and shine. They were so inviting, just looking into them seemed to make me want to smile.

She nodded agreeing with me, but didn't say anything. "So you speak Russian?" I asked awkwardly.

"Dah," she replied in Russian.

"That's pretty bad ass," I smiled at her. Ops I don't think I was supposed to cuss in front of the kids.

Her eyes went wide in shock, and then she giggled. "I wont tell," she promised.

"You're pretty cool kid you know that?" She actually was. She was one of those kids that grew on you I guess.

"You sound like my Daddy," She smiled up at me.

I narrowed my eyes at her, "What with all this Daddy talk? You trying to set me up with your Dad or something?" I asked halfway joking.

"Daddy needs a lady friend," she looked down and blushed.

"Sorry kid I don't date dads," I told honestly.

"Why?" she asked a wrinkle forming on her forehead.

"Just don't, sorry kid it's kind of a rule I have," Yeah I gave up my own offspring I wasn't trying to adopt anyone else's.

She stuck her bottom lip out and pouted, but didn't say anything else. "How about instead of being your daddy's lady friend I teach you something cool?" I asked her.

"What is it?" She asked practically bouncing up and down. Holy Shit. This kid seriously had severe mood swings, maybe she was bipolar, or is this how hyper kids normally were?

"I'll teach you how to do this," for dramatic effect I lift my right eyebrow as high as I would go. Apparently I was beyond cool because she gasped then started squealing clapping her hands. It caught Violets attention, and I smiled nervously at her. She just sent me back a bright smile, flashing me her fangs and continued playing with some of the kids who were coloring.

"Please!" she begged.

The rest of the day seemed to fly by. Violet had them working on more art either themed around the moon and space or the letter M. The whole time Lily stuck by my side and it made me smile. It was adorable she kept asking me to play with her and do her hair, I obliged not because I had to because I actually wanted to. She was a sweet little girl, and it was a nice feeling, her wanting to be near me. Most people now a days didn't really like me so I felt like she was my little friend, as sad as it sounds to have a four year old friend.

Before I even knew it lunch had flown by, I opted to eat with the kids, but did as promised and ate twice as much as normal. Lily thought this was particularly funny and tried to match me plate for plate. I was impressed; the girl could eat, despite her tiny frame. I asked Violet if I could leave early I didn't want to be late to my training sessions at least not the first week.

"I'm impressed," Violet commented as I started to head for the door.

"Really?" I asked surprised.

"Yes, I can never get Lily to listen to me, to be honest she drives me a little crazy, but she loves you. I've never seen her so well behaved. No fighting, no yelling, she was listening. I don't know what you did but I'm glad you did it," Violet explained. Fighting? The Lily I met today was a sweet girl. Yeah she had tons of attitude but I could stop her with a look. She seemed like a pretty well behaved girl to me. Anyway I thought her spunky attitude made her even cuter.

I just shrugged, "she's a sweet girl."

"Well that's great she opened up to you, she really needs a female to look up to," Violet told me with a sad smile on her face. I wanted to admit that I was definitely not someone she should be looking up to but I bit my tongue on that one.

I was about to walk out of the door when I was stopped again, this time by a small voice.

"Miss Marie!" Lily's little voice beckoned.

"I have to go kid," she wrinkled her nose, in an expression I now know of annoyance.

"Why?" she questioned crossing her little arms.

"I have to go train," I told her feeling a little silly explain myself to a child.

Her eyes lit up, "You're a Guardian?"

"Of course kid," I swept my hair back to show her my tattoo-clad neck.

"My Daddy has that too! You have to meet my Daddy tomorrow!" She clapped her hands excitedly, and I could see a twinkle of mischief in her chocolate eyes.

"Remember my rule kid?" She just ignored me, to happy about my Guardian status. "I have to go Lily," I told her gently I kind of felt like she was holding me hostage.

She pouted and I sighed bending down to her level, "Don't worry I'll be back tomorrow," I flashed her my brightest most honest smile and she seemed to accept my answer. Good, I didn't want the little girl to be upset because of me.

"Buh-bye Miss Marie," she threw her arms around me and pulled me into a hug. Warmth spread all over my body, I was blushing. Why? Because I actually liked this kid? I slowly hugged her back; a little awkwardly I had never hugged a child before.

"Bye Lily," I murmured before heading out of the classroom, and rushing to my room to change. Despite my rushed pace a smile held itself on my face.

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**Soooo? Rose and Lily. I hope you liked their conversation.**

**The Next Chapter will be in Dimitri's point of view.**

**Please _review_ people...**


	8. Daughters

**Happy Saturday everyone! I wanted to get this out last night but fate was not on my side and I spent most of the afternoon in the emergency room for a dislocated knee. So enough about me!**

**Enjoy more Lily!**

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**Chapter 8- Daughters**

(DIMITRI)

A week passed since Miss Marie, Lily's new teacher, made her début in our lives. She was all Lily could talk about. Miss Marie's funny, Miss Marie taught me this, and Miss Marie says Dora is lame.

That last one I was grateful for. Dora was the most unpleasant cartoon that Lily used to be obsessed with. Her voice was like nails on a chalkboard and with one mention of her Miss Marie eradicated her from our lives. She insisted I cleanse her room of anything Dora. I even had to get her a new bedspread. I bought her a purple bedspread, good thing Miss Marie liked purple, or that would be out too.

Whoever this new teacher was she had Lily wrapped around her finger, she basically idolized her. She even keeps bugging me about meeting her.

I tell her I'm busy, but truthfully I've been trying to find Rose. I tell myself it's so I can avoid where she is, but I know better than to lie to myself. I miss her. And I hate that I miss her.

Ever since I almost saw her that morning in the gym I go there every morning waiting for her to come through the same doors, but she doesn't. I can't help but be curious. What does she look like? What does she like to do? Does she think of me? Does she even have feelings for me? Or for Lily? I wonder if she's been asking around for me?

I shake my head trying to rid myself of these thoughts. Literally she's all I think about. She sits in the back of my mind all day. And I knew why. I knew I was stupid for thinking about someone who didn't think about me. But even after four years, Rose still owned my heart, well what was left of it. She was the only girl I allowed to truly touch my heart. She always would have my heart, but I always thought she took my heart away when she left the Academy but now she was back. What did that mean? I felt like I needed to find her but my brain kept telling me it was a horrible idea.

"Daaaaddyyyy?" Lilly said in a singsong voice making Daddy sound like it was a six-syllable word. She seemed extremely chipper today, probably because I promised to meet her precious Ms. Marie today.

"Yes Liliya."

"Guess what Ms. Marie is teaching me to do?" She crawled into my lap.

"What's that Princessa?" I asked not completely interested, Rose was still on my mind.

"Look at me!" Lilly huffed apparently I wasn't watching the new thing Lily had learned so I focused my attention on her. Her forehead creased in concentration, and then slowly she lifted an eyebrow.

Rose had always wanted to know how to do that. She admitted it to me on the night spent in our cabin. I told her I would try to teach her, but only a few days later she had told me she was pregnant and ended our relationship.

The last time I saw her was at the hospital after My Liliya was born, I tried to thank her for giving me a family, and she had asked me to leave. As if that weren't bed enough she had asked me to take "it" with me. She didn't even hold Lily once, didn't even want to know her name. She wanted nothing to do with raising our daughter.

I could never turn my back on family. Especially a child I had brought into this world. My sense of duty didn't just end with the moroi, unlike Rose I knew I had to raise my child, it was my duty as a parent. She hadn't even said goodbye before she left for California, I now know. She just took off and left everyone she had ever cared about. It was then I knew that I had meant absolutely nothing to her.

"That's great Liliya," I tried to sound happy but I couldn't. Not when she just reminded me of Rose. I was glad Lily had connected with a woman; she needed a girl role model in her life, since she didn't have a mother. She loved her Auntie Lissa and Janine and even all her aunts in Russia, but she didn't see them very often, besides Lissa. Out of all the aunts she had and the two grandmothers she had, Miss Marie had made a bigger impression on her than all of them.

I felt a little guilty that I hadn't met the woman my daughter looked up to so much. I should've meet her sooner but my new second job of looking out for Rose had made me late in picking up Lily, and she's always gone by the time I get there.

"I loooooove Miss Marie. I can't wait until you meet her Daddy, She funny and smart and really pretty. She's even a Guardian like you Daddy!" Lily went on to say.

"That's wonderful Lily," I hadn't known she was a guardian too. What was she doing in a preschool classroom?

"I want to be just like her!" Lily exclaimed her dimples showing.

"I like you just the way you are Liliya," I poked her stomach in emphasis.

"I mean when I grow up Daddy, She sooo pretty. You two would be great friends."

"Are you trying to tell me I don't have enough friends Liliya?" I raised an eyebrow at my daughter.

"No…" she paused to think, "but you don't have any lady friends." She finished bluntly.

"Why do I need lady friends?" I asked confused Lily had never expressed to me that she thought I should be dating. I heard the front door open but I didn't turn around to see who it was. "Why?"

"Because she's pretty, and I like her."

"Liliya, daddy's never had lady friends before why do you think I need one now?" Not since Rose at least, but that was before Lily.

She continued to look down sadly, "Because you would be happy, and not lonely anymore Daddy. She looked up at me then her brown eyes watering.

"Liliya," I said sternly. I hated to see her sad, it hurt me so much to know she was upset about something that I couldn't make better. "I am happy and I'm not lonely because I have you," I pointed her then myself, " we are a family." I held her close to my chest and kissed her head.

"No, a family is a mommy, a daddy and a kid. I don't have a Mommy!" Lily became frantic, crying, and would no longer let me hold her close to me. I wanted to cry but I kept a straight face, I wouldn't cry in front of my daughter.

"Lily," a person beside me called, I had almost forgotten someone had walked in the door a little while ago. I looked over to see a flash of blonde hair move around the couch and in front of me bending down to get close to Lily. "Lily," I now recognized Vasilisa as she bent down and turned Lily to face her, "You're okay." She told her in an eerily calm voice. "You're just sleepy, go to sleep Lily," She was so convincing even I got tired, I almost closed my eyes when I recognized the compulsion she was using and shook it off.

I felt my Liliya relax back into my arms and I sighed as she continued to cry herself to sleep.

I looked at Lissa and mouthed a thank you, before getting up to put my daughter to bed.

* * *

A while later, after waiting for Lily to stop crying and shedding a few tears myself, I made my way back to the living room where Vasilisa sat patiently on the couch.

"Thank you Vasilisa," She turned her head and made a face at her full name but didn't comment about it. She knew after four years not giving her formal title of Princess was about as far as I would go.

"No problem, I wasn't sure if you would be too happy with me using compulsion, but I could see her aura… she was a mess I had to do something," she explained but I shook my head.

"I'm glad you did it I don't know how I would've calmed her down," I sighed and pinched the bridge of my nose closing my eyes for a second. When I opened them again I found her staring at me. "What?" I asked her.

"You're a good father Dimitri. I hope I'm as great a parent to Krissa as you are to Lily." She smiled at me.

I rolled my shoulders back. I was uncomfortable, I wasn't used to people seeing me as emotional as I am when I'm with Lily. "How much did you hear?"

"Lily's right you should start dating."

Apparently she had heard all of it. I sighed, "Vasilisa, I'm a guardian and my concentration needs to be on guarding and raising my daughter I have no time for anyone else." I told her my face holding no emotion, because that was what it is like for me. Very simple I rarely dated before Rose or Lily and I wasn't going to date now.

"Well, you can have friends, go have fun a little." She smiled again, and I just nodded my head. "Here." She handed me a piece of paper with names on it. "Four new Guardians came in yesterday. Alberta told me to pass this along to you."

"Thank you," I nodded looking at the paper it had names and a meting place and time. I guess I would be meeting new guardians again in the morning, which means less time with Lily in the morning I frowned.

"I'll see you around Dimitri," Vasilisa waved as she left through the front door.

Maybe meeting Ms. Marie wasn't such a bad idea. I would make sure I was on time tomorrow to meet Lily's new teacher. No more walking around looking around every corner for Rose. I would do this little thing for my daughter it would make her so happy. And maybe Ms. Marie would turn out to be nice, maybe we could be friends. Nothing more really, I had too much on my plate, as it was, being a single dad and a Head Guardian.

I just couldn't do this to myself anymore. I had to get over Rose. It wasn't healthy for me anymore. I thought I was hiding it well but my daughter could see I wasn't totally happy. She could tell how lonely I was even with her in my life. I wouldn't put that strain on her anymore. I had to move on for Lily, and for me.

I was done thinking about Rose Hathaway. I was done inflicting pain on myself by thinking about her. I needed to get over her. Thinking of her all day every day was killing me slowly sucking the life from me. It killed me to know my daughter could see how it was affecting me. And I hurt when she was hurting. If I could do anything to stop her pain I would. Which means not a single thought of Rose would cross my mind. I needed to live for my daughter.

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**I know this one was really short but the next chapters will be long and overall more exciting. So please review! I haven't been getting very many reviews lately and it makes me think maybe I'm not doing so well and people aren't reading anymore.**

**If you read it please review so I can get a good estimate on how many people are reading this and liking it.**


	9. Hit Me Baby One More Time

**And here is more Lily-Rose love!**

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**Chapter 9- Hit Me Baby One More Time**

I picked up my speed putting myself a couple paces faster than my Mother. I wanted to finish my running so I could get to the elementary campus slightly earlier today. Lily promised to teach me a few Russian phrases today since I spent all last week teaching her to raise one eyebrow. She looked so adorable doing it. It made her look even sassier than before. She was like my little prodigy; she did everything I did, copying even my wardrobe and hair. I even caught her putting catsup on her tacos. Seriously? Who serves tacos without salsa?

I stopped by my dorm building leaning against the cold brick wall. We started running around campus instead of around the track after I had almost ran into Dimitri there.

"Good Job Rose." My mother panted from beside me. I was picking up really well with my training. It was a lot easier getting back into shape this second time than the last time when I had run away with Lissa. My mother didn't have to slow down for me anymore and she actually left panting after our training sessions. I even manage to pin her twice so far during our sparing matches. Pretty amazing for only a week and a half of training, if I do say so myself.

"Thanks" I said extending her my water bottle cheerfully.

"Well, you're in a good mood today, And everyday this week actually," My mother commented looking at me from where she stood cooling down after our run.

I just shrugged absent-mindedly playing with the bracelet Lily made me in class the other day. "Yeah I guess I am, are we done for today? I need to shower before I head to the elementary campus."

"So you like working there?" My mom asked eyeing me in an odd way.

"Its okay I guess. The kids are cool, not little gremlins like I thought," I told her.

"I see that," she nodded to the bracelet that I had around my wrist I smirked thinking of Lily's sassy self.

"Oh a kid made me this," I smiled.

"Which one?" she asked with absent-mindedly drinking more water.

"Her name is Lily and-" I started to say fondly, but then my mother started choking on my water. "Are you-" I started to ask but she put a hand up.

"I'm fine," she pinched the bridge of her nose.

"What?" I demanded, placing my hands on my hips.

"I thought you didn't like kids Rosemarie?" she asked all of sudden serious.

I rolled my eyes and started stretching my legs so they wouldn't cramp later. "I don't like parents either." I said grumpily. Great she ruined my good mood.

"I'm serious Rosemarie," She stopped to look me in the eye. "You should leave this kid alone."

I stood straight up, "What? No, she's my friend," I protested then cringed when I realized how completely pathetic it sounded. I know it sounded crazy for me to have a friend that was four but she was a lot more mature then the other booger eaters in her class. There's just something about her that's just familiar like I've known her all my life, even though that's impossible considering my age and hers. Lily makes my crappy day a little better she, I don't know, makes me happy. Which is something I can't say about anyone now a days. Everyone here just wants to yell and boss me around. If it weren't for Lily I would have left already.

"Rosemarie have you thought about what happens in a couple of weeks when you can go back to guarding? Kids need stability not people coming in and out of their lives." I wrinkled my nose, I hadn't thought of that.

"I… I'll visit her. It's not like I'm moving away anytime soon. I'll go see her maybe even work it out with her dad to go on like girl dates, how cute would that be?" I asked smiling. I thought it was a great idea but my Mothers face paled.

"Right like you visited us when you left to California?" She crossed her arms.

"That was different…"

"Look, all I'm trying to say is that you have never been one to accept responsibility. When you detect a ounce of trouble you bolt. I don't know where you get it from but that's just how you are. I'm sorry," She shrugged like what she was saying to me was no big deal but I looked down ashamed.

Was this what everyone thought of me? That I was a flake? I hugged myself without realizing it. "I got to go," without waiting for a response I turned on my heel and rushed to my room to shower and change, the whole time thinking of what my mother said.

Would I always be like this? A flake? Would I always just run when the going got tough? Would I run for the rest of my life? I don't want to be like that I want to be stable. Someone that other people could depend on. I wanted to fall in love again, even though I knew I'd never have another great love like Dimitri.

I had no shot with him now. The last moments we were together I treated him like shit. Hell the last nine months we were together I had treated him badly. He never deserved the way I treated him, just because I was an irresponsible brat. He was doing the right thing and I treated him like crap because of it. I didn't deserve him and I still don't. I don't know that I ever will. He was always too good for a fuck up like me. Even though most people don't get to get close to him like I did, if they were lucky enough to then they would know he had a big heart and a beautiful soul to match.

Without realizing it I had already left my room and made my way to the elementary building.

I stood outside the building trying to pull myself together. I wouldn't let Lily see me like this. I actually cared about the little girl. Just as I was about to enter the building I bumped into someone.

My hand shot out to catch the person, "I'm so-" I stopped when I recognized the blonde headed green eye Princess who dragged my sorry ass here. "Sorry." I finished.

"Rose," I held back the face I wanted to make at sound of that name.

"What are you doing here?" I asked straightening up.

She gestured to the baby she had in a carrier with a blanket over it.

"Oh, that's your um..." I couldn't get the word out it was too weird to associate that word to Lissa.

"Daughter," She finished for me. "I'm dropping her off at daycare."

"Yeah," I flushed.

"So why are you here?"

"They're making me work here until I'm back in shape to be a Guardian," I explained and as I talked to her the more I missed her, and the more I wanted to break down the brick wall I had built in my head to keep her out. I missed my best friend, but how could I ever want her back after the way she treated me? The way she took Dimitri's side instead of supporting me?

"Here? With Kids?" She looked at me uneasily now.

"Yeah at that room at the end of the hall. I think those kids are four," I shrugged. I had really only gotten to know one kid. The only one that mattered really, the rest were sticky little gremlins that I wanted nothing to do with.

Just like my mother Lissa's eyes widened. "What?" I asked annoyed.

"Nothing I… just didn't think you liked kids." She replied hesitantly.

I was going to reply but Lissa stopped saying she needed to drop off he daughter, weird, and go to work.

I watched her scurry off into the building. Why was everyone acting so weird about me working here?

They probably shocked at the fact you can be around kids after you abandoned your own. I flinched at my internal voice scolding me. Where had that come from? I shook it off and walked into the building.

"Miss Marieeeee!" A little voice squealed when I walked into the room.

"Inside voice Lily, I reminded her like I had to everyday.

"Miss Marieeeeee!" she whisper-shouted. I tried to keep my disapproving face in place but I couldn't help but laugh. The kid was just too cute.

"Hello Lily, how has your morning been?" I asked, taking a seat. It looked like the other kids were just having free play so I was free to do what I wanted at the moment. Lily took my smile and greeting as an invitation to chatter on and on about her morning.

As Lily chattered on she mentioned showing her Dad her new trick. She was so proud of her self she was glowing. A few of the other kids came and watched her trick, she was smiling so brightly you could tell she loved the attention.

Lily was putting on a show for her friends, showing them how she lifted her eyebrow but never explaining how to do it, she would just make comments about how "it wasn't as easy as it looks" or "it takes practice."

I couldn't help but think about Dimitri, she reminded me of him at the moment with her Zen life lesson like words. At that moment I thought of our daughter. I wonder whom she was like? Sarcastic and upbeat like me, or centered and disciplined like Dimitri? I wonder what my daughter looked like. Did she look like me, or Dimitri? What did she like to do in her free time? I used to love going to the playground. Playing Tag was my favorite. Probably because it was the only time I could hit people and get away with it. Yeah, I was a little shit.

"Miss Marie are you ok?" Lily's voice asked me, as I came back to reality.

"Huh, yeah." I tried to sound convincing but my voice cracked.

Lily came up to me and pressed her tiny thumb to my cheek and wiped something wet away. My tears, I was crying. How did I not notice that? Was thinking about Dimitri and our daughter making me cry? Or maybe it was allergies. Yep, definitely allergies.

"Don't be sad Miss Marie. Everything will be ok." Lily tried to reassure me. God, she was such an angel. Until then I had only really seen her sarcastic playful side, besides the time I almost made her cry, but not I saw her soft enduring side. She was a caring little girl I realized.

I looked at Lily but I saw Dimitri's face. It was odd to say the least. That probably happened because I was thinking of Dimitri. He used to care for me at the academy. He wiped away his share of tears from my cheek as well.

I don't know what is wrong with me. Am I starting to regret my decision? Did I want to be with Dimitri? And be a mother to his child? Shit, I don't know.

Four years ago I was so sure about myself. So sure that I knew what I wanted to do. Well not exactly, but I knew what I didn't want to do and that was to be a mother. That just wasn't for me. And now, I don't know what the hell I want. I don't know what I'm looking for. But I know I'm looking for something. Love? Acceptance maybe? All I know is I'm definitely not happy with the way my life is turning out now. In California my life was perfect, but now being drag back to Missoula has opened my eyes to the chaotic state my life is in.

If I died now, what would I have? Nothing. Who would miss me? No one. Because I have no one, and I have nothing. I left everything behind when I left the little girl I gave birth to.

Lily gave me a hug, and admittedly it made me feel better.

We then continued with "The Lily Show."

Lily really impressed me she's a really fast learner. Not to mention her little nose looked so cute when she wrinkled it in concentration. I talked the other kids through the process of lifting an eyebrow and let them attempt to do it themselves. It was a no go they all just blinked their eyes and convinced themselves they were doing it. Whatever.

The rest of the day went by the same as the others. Violet read multiple stories. Then we both started teaching the kids to write their names.

Lily did hers in the most correct way, never mind that her name was the easiest, she's just smarter then the others in the class. Everyone else wrote their names in backwards letters and scribbles even. It safe to say Lily was the sharpest crayon in this box.

After that she had them coloring. And while the other gremlins scribbled all over the page, Lily colored nicely. She even mostly stayed in the lines because she was smart and outlined the image with the crayon first, and then colored it in.

She was just so much smarter than the other children. And I know that's not fair to say because all kids learn at a different pace, and blah, blah, blah, but I couldn't help it. I definitely saw a few kids making a meal of boggers and crayons. Just Ewe. After I saw that I took away Lily's crayons and gave her some markers and told her not to share with the other kids. Call it playing favorites if you want but I wasn't about to let Lily catch a disease because I let her share crayons with the rest of the riff raff.

"Lily, your dad is here." Violet called out.

"Yay! Miss Marie, you get to finally meet my Daddy." She was so thrilled it warmed my heart. It was too sweet that she liked me enough that she wanted me to meet her father. She had talked about this since the first day I met her and I wanted her Dad to like me. I just knew he be great. He'd have to be, to raise such an amazing kid like Lily. I mildly wondered if her dad is cute, cause Lily sure was a little beauty. The little girl obviously got it somewhere.

I turned around to walk Lily to her cubby to get her jacket.

I saw a tall man with tanned skin.

Lily ran up to the Man and launched herself into his arms.

I noticed the man had long brown hair and my heart panged.

I loved Dimitri's long hair.

Lily then turned to the man and said "Daddy this is Miss Marie."

"Roza?" the man asked incredulously.

And I couldn't breathe...

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**Dun Dun Dun... Sorry for the cliffy!**

**I'll tell you what, I'm 28 reviews away from my 100th review of this story. If you guys can get me to my goal then I'll post the next chapter immediately after the 100th review! I have faith in y'all!**

**Lets see if you guys can do!**


	10. Gravity

**Can I just say wow! I'm so impressed right now! Not only did you get me up to 100 reviews I actually am at 112. That means you guys posted 40 reviews in a little over 12 hours! I'm so shocked. I wish you guess always reviewed like that. If you did I would be one happy author! HAHA**

**I was sick all morning so I'm sorry I didn't get it up here right after my 100th review but I tried my best. **

**Well here it is like I promised! **

* * *

**Chapter 10: Gravity**

Oh god I still couldn't breathe.

Nothing was making any sense. Dimitri, Lily's dad. Lily, Dimitri's daughter. No, that can't be. Why did she call Dimitri daddy?

I finally gained back the ability to breathe and now I was hyperventilating. That doesn't make any sense, because she's four years old. And if Dimitri is Lily's Dad, then she's my…

Oh god I'm going to be sick.

My heart began racing. So I was either going to faint, throw up, or have a heart attack. All three would really be a blessing right now.

"Rose?" Dimitri growled repeating my name when I didn't first answer.

"What? Dim- Daddy?" I breathed, shaking my head back and forth trying to make sense of it all.

"Rose-marie. Of course." He said sharply still staring at me furiously. I flinched under his angry gaze.

Of course, it all made sense now. Dimitri obviously was still at the Academy guarding so of course Lily was at the only daycare on campus. Violet had told me Lily needed a motherly figure in her life and the sad expression she wore when she told me, she had to have been thinking about Lily's mother leaving her. My mother knew Lily; of course she did that's why she was freaking out this morning, and Lissa too. She was sassy, sarcastic and a bit violent, like me. She was even named after a flower for god sake! On top of that I knew she was fluent in Russian, how blind was I? And Lily was probably the only child on earth that I liked, no maybe loved. It all made since.

Lily was so tender and sweet, when she wanted to be, just like her father. And just like her' father I fell for her almost instantly.

I put my hand to my forehead, I could feel a headache coming on.

"See daddy, I told you she was sooooo pretty." Lily's voice said.

Lily thought I was pretty. My daughter thought I was pretty.

Dimitri didn't say anything; he just clenched his jaw, not even attempting to hide the anger on his face. Were his eyes always so black, like death? Or is this a special thing he does, just for me?

I had a feeling it was the later.

I felt myself shrink while I was under Dimitri's stare. I took me back to my teen years like when Dimitri had caught me with Jesse. It was an odd thought; Dimitri had that "you better be sorry" look that all parents had, perfected to the T. I wonder if he ever gave that look to Lily. I looked down to my daughter fondly, there I said it, and if she was anything like me I'm sure she got that look quite often. As I thought that my heart panged, I wouldn't know because I was never there for her.

I dragged my eyes away from my little daughter and brought them back to the angry Russian who stood before me.

Dimitri changed over the years, for the better. He was taller, or maybe it was the fierce glare I was receiving from him making me feel small and insignificant. His long brown hair wasn't long enough for him to put it in a ponytail anymore, it was still long but it only just brushed his ears now. His face was harder, older. But he was nonetheless still the Russian god he once was, and that was just his looks, I'm sure he was still deadly in battle too. As always...

Lily kept staring at both of us.

"Do you guys know each other?" Lily asked looking between us, putting her little hands on her hips and pursing her lips.

"More then you know..." Dimitri bit out through a clenched jaw. He was still staring at me and it was quite unnerving.

"Lily, get your backpack." Dimitri said. His face looking calm, but I knew better than to believe he was anything but, now I really was scared.

"But..." Lily insisted

"No. Go get it," he spat.

"Fine. Goodbye Miss Marie." She came up to me and hugged me. I was frozen for more than a minute, but then I forced myself to bend down and hugged her back. I was hugging my daughter for the first time. Well for the first time knowing she was my daughter. I could feel Dimitri glaring at us, or rather, me. Curious, I met his gaze. Though he held a straight face I was always able to see through it and his emotions in his eyes were flickering. I could see rage one second then see something softer I couldn't recognize, in the next. Finally he seemed to settle an emotion. Hurt. I could see all the hurt in his eyes and it killed me. I had to close my eyes, to escape it and hugged Lily tighter. That was something I didn't want to see from him.

Lily gave me one last wave then bounced to the other end of the hall to get her backpack. Seeing Dimitri took me back to my 18-year-old self, it felt as if no time had passed at all. I felt like the same scared and lonely girl I was after giving birth to Lily, and I hated it. I felt weak, and there was nothing I could do about it.

I felt Dimitri starting at me again. And it definitely was in the unpleasant way. I could practically feel the heat of his rage burning me. He was seething and that was a side of Dimitri I rarely saw. His rage usually was never toward me. I refused to let him get to me. I worked hard in the past four years to build myself up emotionally, so that I would never feel the way I did before I left. I would not let another person make me feel inferior.

Dimitri took a few steps closer to me, and took an intimidating stance right in front of me, which wasn't hard to do since he was so tall compared to my small frame. He was so close that I had to look up at him to see his face. He gave me an ice-cold glare that was made for the devil himself. Or me, there probably wasn't much of a difference in his eyes.

I didn't want to look at him anymore, but I force myself, and set an intimidating look of my own on my face. Two could play at this game.

"Look." I breathed, looking into his eyes. He couldn't think that I intentionally put myself into Lily's life, because that wasn't the case. And I couldn't have him thinking it was. "I had no clue okay? Alberta assigned me here for the time being, I didn't know about her."

He looked confused for a split second, and then promptly put his hard mask back on. I looked back at Lily who still looked nervous; she was standing, by the rack of backpacks and coats and was putting her own backpack on. She looked so cute, even nervous. How could I have not noticed she was mine? She had my eyes, the ones that also belonged to my mother, eyes full of mischief. She had my pouty lips too, that were now pursed in annoyance. I could tell she wanted to come over here but knew well enough not to interrupt a grown up conversation. Lily had my mother's hair, well slightly, her hair was brown with an auburn tint, but if the sun would hit her just right it appeared to be a brilliant red. And her skin tone was this tan color just like Dimitri's and mine. She was so beautiful the perfect mixture of us.

Dimitri's face immediately hardened. His jaw, like his fists were clenched. Oh great he was back to showing me all of his anger.

He spoke in a low threatening voice, "Leave. Go back to California."

I was floored he even knew where I was. And even more floored that he would tell me to leave. Of course I hadn't wanted to come here originally, but now knowing what I know, this couldn't be the last time I would see Lily.

Even though I wasn't sure what I was going to do with the situation, I knew I couldn't leave. Not like this. Not after meeting her.

"Bbut..." I started to say looking desperately back to Lily.

"NO. Don't even look at her. Go back to your lifestyle of booze and boys." I felt my face flush at that, of course he knew. "You have no right to show up after all these years. I won't have you hurt my daughter. I won't let you do to her what you did to me. It will not happen."

"I don't have a choice…" I said tightly trying to keep it together. "I was summoned here Dimitri. I can't leave."

His face didn't waver after I told him why I was here. He knew. He knew I had been summoned, he knew I had no choice but to stay here. But he wishes I wasn't.

I waited for a response and when I didn't get one I sighed.

He growled then turned around and walked slowly to Lily taking her hand. Lily gave me one last wave and bright smile before Dimitri led her out of the building and probably out of my life as well.

I tried to wave back, but all I could do was hold my hand up. It wouldn't move. I felt numb.

* * *

I got myself together and told Violet I had to leave for training, keeping my face straight, not revealing any emotion. I was not weak, and I would not cry.

I walked out of the building dejectedly, not exactly sure what to do next. Do I talk to someone? If so, who would I even talk to? I had no one here, and my friends back in California wouldn't understand. I held back a sob. This was the worst day ever, by far.

God, I needed a drink so badly, maybe my mother would give me a break if she knew what I just went through.

I numbly walked myself to the gym. I didn't know what I was doing here or why my feet brought me here but when I caught sight of the practice dummies I understood. I had to work off some of this frustration.

I walked briskly over to the dummy and punched it right in the face. It was oddly satisfying. So I did it again. And again. Until its head was dented in and my knuckles were so red I had to switch to my left hand. I threw my whole body into each of my punches and soon I was covered in a layer of sweat. I had to strip off the baggy shirt I was in revealing a thin tank top I had underneath it. I paused when my knuckles began to swell and I could no longer stand the pain. My breathing was ragged and fast. I hadn't realized I was exerting so much energy until I looked at the dummy beat basically to death. Her poor head was unrecognizable. I labeled it a "her" because of its long brown hair. With that thought I paused. I had chocolate brown waves like I did. Maybe that as why I zeroed in on this dummy. I was furious, but not with Dimitri. I was furious at myself. Everyone was right.

I hated being wrong. I kicked the dummy knocking it over then continued kicking her while she was down.

"We should talk." I heard a gentle voice from behind me. Lissa. It wasn't a question, she wasn't asking. She was telling me we were going to talk. It's not up for discussion. I could have told her to fuck herself and left. But I didn't.

"Kay..." I replied gruffly, my breath still heavy.

I picked up my shirt from the ground and we went outside. I followed her in silence all the way into the Teacher housing and up its stairs, until we got to a door that was apparently hers.

I walked into her apartment slowly, taking in my surroundings. The apartment was very Modern, all white and black, with beautiful plants, blooming and bright in every color, covering most of the surfaces. I smirked; of course Lisa would have a green thumb when all she had to do was heal a plant when it started to wilt. I walked behind her into the living room and spotted a picture of her and a newborn baby. I had forgotten she had just had a baby. She looked down and the tiny thing in her arms with complete love and bewilderment. I looked closely at the baby, and tried to see it how she did. Honestly? It looked like an alien. Its skin a little wrinkly, and super pale, they caught the child in a good moment, because it was just looking up at her mother, probably wondering what the hell was going on. I wrinkled my nose at the thing. Why did people think those things were so cute? How did Lissa looked so enthralled with such an ugly thing, and why when I saw a baby my first thought was "Ew, don't let it touch me" but when she looked or even thought about her daughter, she got the dumbest smile on her face? What was wrong with me?

I blinked away my thoughts and realized I had been staring at the photo for longer than I thought. I turned and found Lissa sitting in an armchair, she gestured to the couch but I shook my head. I couldn't be still, I began to pace.

"Lily..." I breathed looking at the hard wood floors as I paced back and forth in her living room. All I said was that one word. That one name, and yet she understood. She knew that I now knew, the secret she was keeping, the secret everyone was keeping. Even my own mother, not that I should be surprised about that. She knew I knew Lily was my daughter.

I looked at her. Her eyes were kind, gentle. Not judgmental, or rude. Like I remember them being.

"By Lily, you mean Dimitri." My eyes widened at her words. "You were destroying school property and you knuckles because of Dimitri, not Lily." Lissa stated like it was fact.

"I... I...um." I was speechless, and stopped my pacing. I didn't think about it that way, but I suppose she was right. Why would I be mad because of Lily? I can't think of one reason. But Dimitri? I can think of tons.

"Rose, there's a million ways I could say this, but I'm not going to beat around the bush. I'm just going to come right out with it. Lily needs a mother, but not just any mother, you. Lily needs you. She needs her mother"

"But, Dimiti..." I tried to say. But she cut me off.

"Dimitri's hurt. He's been hurt ever since you left. But Lily, she needs you. And I think you need her too. Your Mom told me the way you've turned around. She said you've been so much happier with her in your life, just as she is." Lissa said

"I'm glad you ad my mother are gossiping, and getting your jollies out of my life but Dimitri doesn't want me in Lily's life." my voice cracked as I said it. It was painful to say but true. I cleared my throat.

I would not cry in front of Lissa.

"So? Since when have you ever let anyone tell you what to do? Let alone a man, and more specifically Dimitri. Isn't that a reason you two got together in the first place? Your stubbornness? The Rose Hathaway I know does what she wants, and gets what she wants and does whatever it takes to achieve her goals." She went on to say smiling at me. I smiled back, just for a second then I left it fall.

"But Dimitri is her father. I can't just slip right in there and play mommy, I have no right." Even as I said those words, I knew I didn't care. I had to be around Lily, Lis was right I need her.

"I suppose your right, you never were good at subtly. Good thing you're a kick ass Guardian, or were at least." She joked.

"I'm serious Lissa. I don't even know how to be a mom."

She sighed and said, "I know you and your mother don't have the best relationship. But I think you'll be a great mother. The way you act with Lily already proves you're a natural, I hear she quite taken with you already."

I smiled, I was glad to hear that. I moved to leave her apartment but she stopped me with a hug. When I didn't hug back she pulled away and huffed.

"You have to forgive me sometime Rose," She ran her fingers brought her short hair in annoyance and stepped away from me.

"I really don't, thanks for talking me through this but that doesn't mean I forgive you." I tried to say it nicely but I knew I definitely didn't achieve that goal. It was too mean of a statement.

"Rose, I was 18, I'm sorry! I know what I said was wrong but—" I cut her off.

"Wrong? Lissa I had just given birth! I had just spent 18 _hours_ pushing a human being out of my lady parts. I was alone, and young and in pain, and I was terrified," I shook my head at her. "Tell me how did you feel after giving birth to your daughter," she tried to hide it but I saw her flinch. "Exactly, at least you had someone there for you, probably multiple people? Huh Princess?"

It was a little bit of a low blow but Lissa took t in stride, "uh uh," She shook her head, "Ro is not welcome in the conversation, she's a bitch, get her out of this apartment!"

I couldn't help but laugh. It was hard to be mad at Lissa, she was good hearted by nature and her spirit made it hard not to be happy with her all the times, but the reminder of how alone and inferior I felt at 18 kept me rooted in my rigid position not to forgive her.

Not yet anyway.

* * *

It was late at night, well morning. I didn't realize it at the time but Lis and I were talking for hours, she even let me shower there and borrow clothes since I was completely disgusting. I haven't forgiven her completely yet, I don't think that would be possible but we mended our friendship a little today.

Earlier today I was excited to see Lily, a little girl I was quite fond of. Then I find out that said little girl just happens to be my daughter. And his father, then former love of my life doesn't want me around him. Today definitely turned out completely fucked up, but almost a good kind of fucked up.

At first I didn't know what to do about the whole Jesse thing. But after talking to Lis, I now knew. My mind was set, and I'd be damned if someone tried to change it.

I would be a mother to my daughter. Not just because she needed it, but because I did too. I need to be apart of something bigger. I need to care about someone other than myself, and I care about Lily.

I need to try with Lily, or else I know I'll regret it later. Hell I already regret it now. Now that I know, that sassy little girl is my daughter, I can't just go back and pretend I don't know her. That I don't know what she's like, it just doesn't work that way. I know how amazing she is now.

The only drawback to my plan was, Dimitri. I have to respect the fact that he's Lily's father. And since he's been raising her I really had little to no say over Lily. So what Dimitri says is law. It's definitely going to be hard being friendly towards Dimitri. Especially with the way he acted towards me today, I know he had every right to, but it still hurt, but I guess I really hurt him in leaving, we must be even now. Of all the roles Dimitri and I have been in, we've never been friends. Teacher/student, partners, lovers? Yes. Friends? Not so much. And right now I needed him to be my friend, otherwise I could just kiss my daughter goodbye.

But even if weren't friends I couldn't be his enemy. Being Dimitri Belikov's enemy is never a good thing, then again, being mine isn't either. So I would try to get along with him, for Lily's sake. I'd do anything to get closer to her, even push back the feelings I still have for her father.

I decided I couldn't wait till tomorrow to talk to him. So even though it was late at night, for someone who has children, I had to talk to him. I needed to talk to him, and let him know I'm turning over a new leaf. I had to show him that I wanted to be there for Lily. I had to show him exactly how serious I was about Lily. I wanted to be there for Dimitri too. But I couldn't say that. If I say that out loud my heart might start to hope that Dimitri and I could... I couldn't even think it. I knew it was too late for Dimitri and I. I fucked that up thoroughly. I just hoped it wasn't too late for Lily and I.

Lisa told me that Dimitri was living in a family style apartment on the other side of campus.

I walked up to Dimitri's door. There was a pink Dora bike outside of the door along with chalk, different balls and a larger bike, obviously for Dimitri. I smiled; it made me happy that Lily has this place to call 'home' it was more than I had.

Striking up the nerve, I went to the door and knocked. The door opened to my mother, who only looked half surprised to see me. Dimitri told her. Or Lissa.

"Where's Dimitri?" I didn't have to be so rude but surely after the secret she kept she must deserve it.

"Rosemarie." She said awkwardly

"Mom. Where's Dimitri?"

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**Well hoped everyone enjoyed that scene the next chapter will be in Dimitri's point of view and I know everyone will love it.**

**Don't forget to review! I know you all can review after that last chapter so please send me some love!**


	11. Last Friday Night

**Hello Guys! Well here is your weekly update in Dimitri's point of view!**

**Enjoy**

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**Chapter 11- Last Friday Night**

(Dimitri)

The Third floor lounge in the Guardian Apartments was a funny place for a bar. I mean it wasn't officially a bar but ever since the influx of Guardians arrived it was turned into a makeshift one for all the new recruits and older Guardians to relax. It was stocked mostly with alcohol confiscated from the students. It was pretty ironic, taking alcohol from the minors then scold and lecture them on the consequences of drinking. Only to just turn around and stock a bar for our own use. It was some pretty hilarious shit. Or maybe it was just funny to me, because I've been drinking. That was entirely possible.

Normally I don't drink. Normally I even look down at the other guardians who all meet up here to drink. A few drinks here and there were about all I would allow myself. Of course not, I have Liliya to take care of.

But with today's events I made an exception.

I still can't believe it. Rose is the infamous Miss Marie that my Liliya idolizes so much. Lily, my daughter adores Rose, my love, her mother. I just had a hard time processing it. Today, thinking has been hard for me. Which is how I found myself in this make shift bar.

I grab the bottle of liquor that I had been working on and poured myself another shot.

"How many of those have you had tonight?" A younger guardian said from beside me, he was one of the new recruits I had shown around campus the day Rose ran from me. Thinking of her running spiked a flare of anger in me and I downed my shot to hopefully squash that feeling. Hmm... How many have I had tonight? Damn, I don't know. Math gets increasingly difficult when you've been drinking.

"No clue," I shrugged. Even if I had known I wouldn't have told him, it was really none of his business.

"I think you're drunk," he prodded more causing me to roll my eyes.

"I'm fine." I growled, socializing was the last thing I wanted to do at the moment.

"I think he's fine," A feminine voice sounded from behind me. I didn't eve turn to look at her, if I looked at her I would then be forced to engage in conversation.

"I'll take a shot." She says shamelessly flirting with me as she takes a seat on my other side. I was then forced to look and found a tall brunette sitting next to me. She may have been tall, but she looked young, probably barely 21. I learned my lesson in being with young girls and would never go there again. So I poured her a drink silently and pushed it to her.

She grabbed it and tossed it back making sure to wink at me as she did.

It was odd that she was obviously flirting with me. I wonder if she thought I would go home with her… maybe I would if she weren't so young. Maybe it would make me forget about that hurtful bitch. But I doubt it would.

Dammit, it's just my luck that my daughter wants me to go out with her mother. Of course she loves her. When I saw her today it was a shock to the system. But I shouldn't have been surprised considering I knew she was here at the Academy. But seeing her and seeing the kind loving way she was with my daughter, it just lit something inside of me. The way she hugged her, even after she knew she was her daughter. It was like she really loved her, already. And I didn't want to see it. I didn't want to see her loving our child. Because then it was like she didn't leave us, she left me.

After Liliya was born and Rose left, I blamed Liliya for her leaving. I convinced myself that she left because of the baby. I thought if I never got her pregnant in the first place then she'd be here with me now. But now I see that wasn't the reason. Lily, wasn't the reason. Obliviously I was. God I'm pathetic, jealous of my own daughter, just because her mother loves her and not me. It was so wrong on so many levels.

I wanted her to leave. And when I told her to leave, she looked like she really wanted to get away from me, then she looked down at Lily and I could tell then. She looked at our daughter and didn't want to leave her, even if she had the choice to leave.

She wanted to leave me, but not Lily. Rose wanted absolutely nothing to do with me. We would never be a happy family all three of us. That's dangerous thinking in the first place. I couldn't allow my mind to wander to dreams of us being a happy family. I was too old for dreams. I had to be realistic for my daughter.

"So... Do you want to do some body shots?" The brunette asked me. I looked at her. She had the body of a twelve year old boy. Probably because she was still practically a child. I couldn't really look at her face; things were a little blurry from all the alcohol. But now that I'm thinking about it, I wouldn't have wanted to see her face.

Who wants to do body shots at this kind of bar anyway? I mean it's small and not even a real bar. And didn't you do that kind of shit at clubs, anyway?

"No." I told her sternly. It was time for her to leave.

Body shots were pretty sexual. And the last time I did something sexual with someone, was years ago, with Rose. Yes, it's been that long. I was pathetic, Rose was all I thought about. I don't get sexual attention from anyone. I focus all my energy on my daughter and not thinking about her mother. Though there is no success at the later.

It's funny because I was very experienced compared to Rose back in the day. But now? I'm sure she has a few more notches on her belt than me. My throat closed up at the idea. Why the hell did I just think that was funny? How is Rose having sex with people who aren't me funny? That's horrible.

"Oh. You sure?" She asked disappointed.

It was sad that my rejection hurt her. But she was just, so not for me. Someday I would get back in the game, but not now. And not with her. I maybe a down and depressed single dad but I wasn't about to go fuck some teenager. She's a guardian anyway, she should have some respect for herself, not offer her body to the first guy she sees.

"Yeah, I'm sure." There were plenty of guys around this bar. Surely she could go bother someone else.

If I was going to date someone, I needed her to understand that my Liliya comes first. Because she does, and always will.

Music was always playing in the background; I never really paid attention before. But this song's lyrics were pissing me off. It was an upbeat dance song. One that Rose would probably love. She always told me I had terrible taste in music. But it was the lyrics that I hated this time.

"Let's go all, the way tonight. No regrets, just love." What the hell? Seriously? That's what got me into this mess in the first place. Going all the way with the one I love.

That and not wearing condoms. Fuck, there was no possible way to know about that one. I mean it's supposed to be genetically impossible for Rose and I to have a child, but I know Liliya is mine. I never got a paternity test but my Grandmother called only a few days after I found out to congratulate me. No one questions Grandmother so I took her word for and never wondered if lily was mine again. I don't regret anything that happened on that night in the cabin, it was the single best night of my life and it was what gave me, my Liliya. Even if that took away the love of my life.

Fuck, I needed another drink.

The door to the bar opened as I poured myself another drink. I turned to look, and there she was. With her chocolate hair down in waves around her beautiful face. Said beautiful face looked the same, just more adult. Her body was thinner but her curves were still there.

"Who's that?" The young Guardian whose name I still cannot remember said. I sent him a fierce glare that he didn't even notice since he was eyeing Rose as she walked over to me.

Rose is here. My heart was racing. But she probably didn't want what I wanted from her. The thought made me bitter. What the hell did she want, then?

"Hey Comrade," she tried at being friendly.

"What the hell do you want?" I spat, ignoring her friendly greeting. She must have gotten the hint that I wasn't going to play nice because she stiffened at my tone.

"I want to talk to you. But I can see you're not in the best..." She started to say, but I cut her off.

"I am exactly how you left me." I said. Her mouth just dropped open. Look at that she's speechless for the second time today.

"Who's this?" The young brunette asked to me referring to Rose.

Rose shifted her attention to the girl who was beside me like she had just noticed her presence. "Who the hell are you? We're having a grown up conversation. Isn't it past your bedtime anyway?" Rose set her face in a scowl.

The young Brunette looked at me surprised; I just shrugged my shoulders keeping my face neutral. So she just left. Smart move. I don't know how much self-control Rose has these days, but the young brunette shouldn't act all pissed, I was not her boyfriend.

"So what is it?" I asked

"I wanted to talk to you about Lily." She said seeming nervous all of a sudden. I figured... It's not like she'd fall into my arms and say "'Oh Dimitri, I love you.'"

"I don't want to talk about this here." I stated. That annoying younger Guardian was still eyeing Rose, listening in on our conversation.

"Okay. Where then?" Rose asked

I grabbed the bottle I had been working on and walked out of the bar with it. Rose followed me.

"Do you really think you should be drinking more?" She asked me.

"Do you really think you should be telling me what to do?" I asked

"I just never thought I'd ever see you like this," she gestured to me as we walked out of the door. I raised an eyebrow in question. She just smirked raising her own. "Shitfaced," she explained.

"Why don't you join me then. You shouldn't make me drink alone," I extended the bottle to her.

"No thanks, I'm supposed to stay sober. I think after 30 days I get a chip and everything," she joked. So she's being forced to stay sober? I couldn't help the small laugh that passed my lips.

"What?" She stopped walking and glared at me.

"Rose Hathaway is finally over 21 and is still being told what to do. It's funny you're so tame now."

She looked down at the bottle clutched in my hand longingly. She wanted a drink. Badly.

Finally her hand swooped down and grabbed the bottle from my own and she took a long pull. She finished drinking and looked up at me, "I am anything but tame," she hissed. Any other man would wither away under the fierce glare of Rose Hathaway, but me? I get completely turned on.

I just shook all the dirty thought out of my head and continued down the stairs and out of the building.

"Where are you going?" She asked me, taking another long pull from the bottle.

"I'm going home," I stated watching her hips sway as she walked.

"I don't think Lily should have to see you like this." She said turning to me.

"Well you don't get the right to make that decision. You forfeited your parental rights, remember?" I bit.

She choked up, trying to control her anger, but it won out.

"FUCK YOU!" she spit at me. "I was 17. You were 24, legally an adult. Good for you, for making the right decision. But I was just a stupid kid. And I didn't think I could take care of her, or you." She sniffed and wiped her nose a little, again taking another drink from my bottle.

Shit, my heart hurt as I saw that. I've only seen Rose cry a few times and usually I only saw the aftermath, the red eyes and puffy face, never the actual tears. She looked so vulnerable in that moment. I haven't seen her look so weak, so broken in such a long time. I brushed my thumb across her closed eyes, wiping her tears away.

"You'll make sure Lily doesn't see me like this." I said softly and tenderly.

She nodded and we began walking again, this time in silence.

"We're here; do you want me to help you in?" She asked me, I nodded. I didn't really need her help. I mean I walked all the way over her on my own, but I didn't want her to go either. Not now that she was here with me.

I took the keys out of my pocket and opened the door. I walked to my room and she followed holding me so I wouldn't fall. Her soft fingers felt so good against my skin. She hasn't touched me in so long.

I threw the keys down on my nightstand and sat on my bed facing Rose who looked nervous and out of place in my bedroom. "Your rooms a lot bigger now, it's nice," She commented with a nervous smile, passing me the bottle.

Hmm... Rose Hathaway nervous? Very different.

"Yeah," I said talking a gulp of the liquor. I passed the bottle to her.

"Well I guess I should go now…" She said letting her voice trail off.

"Didn't you want to talk to me about Lily? We can do that now." It was lousy of me to use Lily to convince her to stay. But I was so lonely and I've been hurting over missing her so much.

"But you're drunk." She stated the fact.

"And you need to be." I replied passing the vodka bottle back to her. She took easily this time. She took another long drink.

"I want to be apart of Lily's life, if you let me." She said

"Why?" I needed to know she was disrupting our daughter's life for a good reason. Should I decide to let her see her.

She kept drinking the vodka, building up her nerve. It was like she knew what she wanted to say, but she didn't know how to put it in words.

"Because, I love her. I love spending time with her. And when I'm not around her I think about her. She's just so great and I fear I made a mistake in leaving..."

She started to say something else. But my lips against hers cut her off. I don't know what came over me but I've been dreaming of her saying those last words to me for years. And now she said them.

Her lips were soft and plump. She slightly opened her mouth and I welcomed the invitation. She tasted like Rose and vodka. Great combination, I'd say the best.

I gently pushed her on my bed. I expected her to say no or something but she didn't. She just laid on her back and pulled me close to her. I kissed down her neck over to her breast. She moaned, it was always the best sound I've ever heard.

I trailed open-mouthed kisses down her neck and heard her gasp. "Dimitri, you're drunk," she said her words were slightly moaned.

"You don't care," I said grabbing her legs to wrap them around my waist. Damn, I missed having them wrapped around me. I ground my bottom half into her and relished in the throaty moan it caused. I loved knowing I still had that effect on her.

"Dimitri, I'm drunk," She protested weakly grinding her hips into mine. Fuck. She would be the death of me.

I pulled back, "I don't care. I've wanted this for so long." I breathed looking into Rose's eyes.

"Me Too." She breathed back.

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**First off. This is not a Cliffhanger. **

**I just didn't want to write Rose and Dimitri's first time together drunk. You all know I'm not opposed to writing lemons but since Rose is drunk and her memory will be fuzzy on everything that happened last night I decided to take out the scene. **

**Don't kill me!**

** I swear Rose and Dimitri will get their fair share of Lemons. I just want their first one not to be drunken.**

**Review! Rant and rave if you want I expect it!**


	12. I Just Want it All

**Hello All! Sorry I'm a day late! I know I suck for keeping y'all waiting! I just moved back home for the summer so everything got crazy in my world. Sorry no more excuses. **

**This chapter is fun and a little serious. We get to see how Lily, Rose, and Dimitri react around one another, along with another character that will make things extremely awkward for our favorite non-couple at the moment. This chapter cracked me up while I was writing it so I hope it does the same for y'all as wel.**

**Enjoy!**

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**Chapter 12- I Just Want it All**

Warmth. I woke up to the feeling of warmth on my back. I craned my head up so I could focus on my surroundings. Sunlight greeted my eyes. And when I say greeted, I mean bitch slapped.

"Ugh, fuck" I muttered quietly. My head throbbed. I could literally hear my head pounding. The stupid ass sun was in my eyes as well, which didn't help. I felt like I was going to burn to death. I'd rather burn to death.

I hated mornings and I hated the sun this morning. The shit was the color of alcohol-induced vomit. I would know.

Okay, I was being stupid. What else is new?

I was just pissed because I woke up with a fuck awful hangover.

"Fuck. Must we fight all the damn time sun?" I muttered quietly. Seriously I'm on Vampire time. You would think that would give my hung-over ass a break, but nope. I am forever doomed to wake up to vomit being spewed into my eyes.

Why was I hung-over in the first place? I don't remember drinking...

I felt something tighten around my waist. I looked down and saw my very naked form on top of another very naked form. How was that not the first thing I noticed today? Fuck, I'll never know. Did I honestly think I was sleeping on a fleshy mattress? God, I'm dumb.

Whoever this guy was he was holding me really tight, like he didn't want to let me go. I looked up trying to see who I unleashed myself on last night. It was difficult, because this guy was tall. And hung. It was official, I was going to have a hard time walking today.

It's not like I've never been with a hung guy. But I haven't in a while not since my first time actually. Cam my fuck buddy, was slightly smaller than most. Unlike Dimitri who was bigger than most. My eyes widened at the realization.

"Oh shit. Shit, shit, shit!" I exclaimed a little too loudly. It was all coming back to me now. The talking, the crying, the kissing, the moaning, the biting, the scratching, and horrifyingly enough, the fucking. I slept with Dimitri last night.

All I wanted to do last night was talk to him. When my mother finally coughed up his location, I went to talk to him about Lily. I was going to tell him that I wanted to be in Lily's life. But then he was insulting me and then we talked and he convinced me to drink. And one thing led to another and here we are.

I wonder what Dimitri would think. He was so wasted last night it was almost comical. I had never once seen him drunk, or even drinking for that matter. Maybe he'd think I took advantage of him. I snorted at the thought. The way Dimitri dominated me last night; anyone would have a hard time believing that one. I'm not used to being dominated, I usually liked being in control, with a few exceptions. I preferred to be on top and WHY THE HELL AM I THINKING ABOUT THIS? Booze always makes me think about sex. That's why I was supposed to lay off the shit.

At least my hangover isn't that bad this time. Or maybe it's so bad but I can't concentrate on it because I'm freaking out about this position I currently find my self in. Position. GAH, I need to get my mind out of the gutter.

I wiggled, trying to get out of Dimitri's grasp without waking him. No such luck, I was stuck. I looked up at his face. It looked younger and carefree. He looked happy and at ease with the world, unlike the stoic face he wears when awake. I wanted to stroke his cheek, so I did. I've never been one with self-control.

I ran my hand lightly from his cheek to his muscular chest. Oh how I loved that chest, it was so strong. I remember feeling particularly safe and loved next to that chest, being held by those arms. The memories were odd to me. They seemed unreal like I was in a movie watching it, instead of living it. It was so long ago, like another time. Things were so different now, yet the same.

I used to think Dimitri would always be the center of my world. But then I went to California and my life revolved around meaningless sex and drinking. And now I feel like it's changing again. I feel like my world should revolve around Lily now. Oh crap, Lily.

Lily and my mother are in the house with us. How the hell am I going to sneak out with them here? I'm all for seeing Lily. But her seeing me do the walk of shame was not really how I'd like to start off our relationship.

I wiggled again desperately trying to escape. Dimitri's big strong hands were still wrapped firmly around my lower waist. I guess I wouldn't have to be worried about Lily seeing me, because I was still stuck in her father's arms.

Dimitri must have been uncomfortable because he tried turning over on his side. That was difficult of course, because I was pressed right up against his chest. But somehow he still managed, as I found myself now on my side.

Dimitri's eyes opened and he stared me in the eyes with an unreadable expression. My face burned as I saw him realize that we were indeed naked on the bed together. Dimitri opened his arms releasing me from his grasp, without a word.

I scurried out of his arms and sat next to him on the bed. I causally looked on the floor trying to find my clothes, I didn't. Dimitri looked at me, or more precisely my naked body.

My face now felt like it was literally on fire. I wasn't exactly comfortable with my body. I was thinner now than I was the last time Dimitri and I were together. Not to mention I had a few additions on my body. Stretch marks, curtsy of my pregnancy with Lily. Granted there as just one and it was faded with age but you could still see it, if you looked.

Dimitri just kept staring at me. It made me uncomfortable. My body involuntarily shivered under his gaze, making my nipples harden shamefully enough. He noticed, of course he did I was fucking naked. Where the hell is the sheet? I saw that it was by my feet; I strained my leg so maybe I could take it between my toes. But something stopped me, the words of an ex fuck buddy.

_I was just inside you and now you're acting all modest?_

Should I not cover up then? Because Dimitri could say _Not only was I just inside of you but I've seen you naked plenty of times. Not to mention I knocked you up._ Okay so obviously he wasn't going to say that but he could think it. Maybe I should just stay where I am.

Still I was curious as to what was going through Dimitri's mind when he looked at my nakedness. I looked into his eyes hopping to get a hint of something. His were clouded over but not with lust or even disgust. It looked more like appreciation or adoration or something, which is very odd. That definitely was not the reaction I was used to getting.

"See something you like?" I said snapping him out of whatever was going on in his head. He looked me in the eyes. His gaze held so much power. Those dark brown eyes never failed to captivate me. They stared intensely into mine as if he was boring into my soul.

"Good Morning Rose" He said ignoring my question.

"Morning," I replied slowly.

"So..." He said scratching his head

"So."

"Um..."

"I can't find my clothes."

"Oh, um..." He looked on his side of the floor. "There on my side." he finished.

Then he got up, reveling him in all his glory. I turned away shyly, not wanting him to think I was staring, because unlike him, I had the decency not to look.

He put on some black boxer briefs and opened his dresser. He pulled out a white t-shirt and a light blue one. I watched as he put on the white tee, shamefully covering up his abs. I was practically drooling over the man, Dimitri saw and laughed. In the next moment he tossed the light blue tee at me. I looked at the t-shirt oddly. Because I thought I was going to wear my own clothes, but obviously Dimitri wanted me to wear his.

"So I can focus." Dimitri explained pointing at the shirt. "Besides I think we need to talk."

I blushed while nodding. Then I quickly put the shirt on and reached for My underwear that were on the floor of his side of the bed, putting them on quickly. I definitely noticed him blatantly staring at my ass as I leaned over the bed, but thought it best to let that one drop.

"So, you want to be apart of Lily's life." It was a statement not a question. He already knew I wanted Lily in my life and vice-versa. I just hope he doesn't think I'm a major slut for sleeping with him, and then not want me to be around Lily. I know I wasn't exactly role model material but I don't want Dimitri to think I'm some sort of bad influence.

"Yes, I really do..." I answered

All of a sudden the door opened crashing against the wall. Frightened on whom I would see I pulled the sheet up and over myself like a child in hiding. Unfortunately Dimitri also copied my movements. If all went well, then maybe his size would distract from mine under the sheet. But then again when do things exactly work out _'well'_ for me?

"Daddy, wake up." I heard Lily say in sing-songy voice. My eyes widened at the horrifying truth that my daughter just walked in the room.

Hopefully she wouldn't see me. I don't want her to see me half naked in her father's bed.

_Yes sweetie, you're mommy is as easy as pie._

That's not entirely true but that's how I was feeling at the moment.

"Daddy, you gotta get up so we can have breakfast." Lily said now jumping up and down on the bed. Blah, the liquor churned in my stomach, and I felt like I was going to hurl. I looked over at Dimitri who's expression matched my thoughts.

Dimitri was just about to brake and reveal himself. But Lily beat him to it.

"Daddy I know you're under the blankey." She said laughing.

Then she pulled the sheet back revealing us both. Lily looked at Dimitri then at me. Dimitri gave me an embarrassed sympathetic smile.

"Miss Marie? You had a sleepover with Daddy?" she asked.

_Ah, hell._

Her eyes brightened while her smile continued to widen.

I heard a girly laugh from, the other room? My mother! Oh god, that's right she babysat Lily last night. Damn, did she know I spent the night? Fuck, what if she heard us? What if Lily did? I felt sick at the notion.

Lily was still looking expectantly at me while I just blushed and cowered.

"Good morning Lily." I muttered quietly

"Morning Miss Marie." She crawled over to me and fell into my arms giving me a big hug. My heart melted. Dimitri was looking at us with an expression I just couldn't place. All I knew was that this sweet little girl that was my daughter, was in my arms. And I've never been happier.

"Miss Marie, do you wanna eat breakfast with us?" Lily asked sweetly.

"Oh. I don't know. I wouldn't want to impose..." I said hoping to get out of this embarrassing adventure.

"Aw come on. She can stay, can't she daddy?" Lily looked over at Dimitri, flashing him a sweet smile, dimples and all.

"If she wants to Princessa." he smoothed Lily's hair.

"So what do ya say? Ya wanna have breakfast with me?" Lily's chocolate brown eyes asked my own. Well how could I say no to that? To that sweet adorable little face? My willpower broke. This little girl could be very convincing.

"Okay, I'll stay for breakfast."

"Yay, you can sit by me Miss Marie. Cause you already had a sleepover with daddy. So now it's my turn to be with you." Lily beamed making me smile as well. Although I must say I did blush at the sleepover comment.

"Ok Liliya, but you should let Miss Marie get ready first."

"Kay, see ya soon Miss Marie." Lily waved at me leaving the room. I waved back.

"You can take a shower if you want. I think your mother might have brought some clothes here." Dimitri said. It felt weird now that we were in the room alone again.

"Umm ok.."

Dimitri went out to the living room for a few moments and came back with a pile of clothes I assumed my mother gave him.

I got up wincing at the soreness between my legs. It was manageable, like I could walk normally but the pain was definitely there. Just like the first couple of times with him.

I took a quick shower and put on my bra and the clothes. My mother managed to gather up black running shorts and a fitting t-shirt. Workout clothes I realized, she must have been planning to workout later. As far as underwear, I was going commando. Because I was not going to wear dirty undies, that's gross. I didn't bother looking in the mirror cause I figured I looked like hell anyways, so I just walked out. When I came out of the bathroom I saw Dimitri waiting for me.

"Thanks." I said to him, he nodded then turned to leave. " I tried to make a joke to relieve some of the awkwardness between us. **Big mistake!**

"I'm surprised you don't keep clothes here for all the girlfriends you have over," I asked laughing a little, hoping we could just joke around.

His expression didn't change when he said, "No. Because you're the first person I've slept with since you left." Holy shit! He hasn't had sex since we were together. Well what the hell was I supposed to say to that?

_Yeah, me too._

Oh man, that was so far from the truth. I've been with more than a couple of guys and even a girl once.

"Oh..." I responded looking at my feet not knowing what to say.

"You weren't just an ex-girlfriend," he muttered quietly almost like he didn't want me to hear it. So I pretended I didn't hear him.

Both Dimitri and I went into the dining room.

"Miss Marie, right here." Lily said before anyone else could speak, She sat down, patting the chair next to her. Her Miss Marie stuff kills me. All the other kids in the class try to get away with calling you just by your name without the Miss. "Violet", "Marie", But not Lily, she's always so polite with the Miss. My own daughter, calling me Miss. It's so weird, not to mention Marie was a dumb abbreviation of my name.

I sat down next to Lily and said, "You don't have to call me Miss Marie, Lily."

"Really, I can call you Marie? Cause Daddy always says it's not nice to call people who are in a thority by their first names." She said. I wanted to laugh as she said a thority instead of authority. Lily was just too smart, how did she even know such big words?

"Actually, Marie's not my first name."

"It's not?" she asked looking up at me.

"No. My first name is Rosemarie."

"Like a flower?" she asked excitedly.

"Just like the flower. But you don't have to call me that. Nobody really does except for my mom. Most people call me by a handful of nicknames."

"Why did your mom name you that?" Lily asked frowning. I stifled a laugh and sent my mother a look.

"I don't really know why don't you ask my mother." _I said nodding to my mom._

"Janie your Miss Marie's mommy?" Lily asked her with big eyes.

"Yes Lily Rosemarie's my daughter," My mother said a little awkwardly, I guess it wasn't too comfortable a topic to be discussing right now so I changed the subject turning back to Lily.

"Well you can call me Ro or Marie, or something." Lily frowned, she didn't like any of my nicknames. "Or you could call me Rose. That's what my friends and family call me." _And you are my family Lily._ Everyone stared at us, while Lily smiled widely. Guess she liked that the best.

"Okay Roza." Lily beamed. I chocked on the orange juice I was drinking. Did she just call me Roza? Dear god. She was exactly like her father.

While I was talking with Lily, Dimitri brought the food over to the table. It was like a buffet, there was tons of food. Bacon, eggs, sausage, waffles, hash-browns, and omg an apple-crisp oatmeal. By the end of the meal I knew I'd be in heaven, or a food coma, or I could just have a heart attack. All of the options were possible.

"Morning Rose," my mother said with a knowing smile on her face. Damn, she knew.

"Good morning Mom." I said trying my damnedest not to blush. It was embarrassing that she knew what we did last night.

The food was to die for good. Like the pig I was I had a little bit of everything. Lily ate quite a bit for being only four. Dimitri was replacing whatever she ate quickly. And my mother, well she was eating just as much as Lily and I. I saw Dimitri watch all of us girls devour the food then shake his head. He was probably thinking along the lines of like Grandma, like mother, like daughter.

I shifted in my seat feeling a little weird. No one was talking just concentrating on the food. I flipped my damp hair to the other side, then all of a sudden Lily was staring at me.

"Something wrong Lily?" I asked

"What's that on your neck?" She asked me. I didn't know what she was talking about so I looked at my reflection in my spoon. I gasped at the huge hickey that marked my neck. It was pinkish purple, and it almost looked like a bite. Gee thanks Dimitri.

"Very lovely Rosemarie," My mother teased. Dimitri's face held no trace of emotion but I could see the embarrassment in his eyes. Good, he should be.

"Did some bite you?" Lily asked. "Miss Violet says it isn't nice to bite." What the fuck was I supposed to say to that? Oh don't worry Lily it was just your father.

My mother spit up her orange juice, laughed then muttered, "Oh it was some animal all right..." I almost died. My mother just made a sexual joke! My mother! Lily ignored her while Dimitri looked away.

"So... Did you have a good sleepover?" Lily asked looking over at Dimitri and I. My face was on fire. I wanted to die. Not only did Lily see my hickey, but she asked us if we had a good sleepover. Lord, take me now.

My mother couldn't contain her laughter. I never was a particularly violent person, ok that was a lie, but I wanted to strangle the woman. Or deck her, both were appealing ideas.

"Lily, you should go get dressed if you're finished eating." Dimitri said saving me from answering, he probably thought I would say something stupid.

Lily obeyed and bounced to her room. After Lily left the table so did I. Obviously I lost my appetite after that embarrassing conversation. I thanked them for breakfast. My mother was no longer laughing but continued to eat her food as I left.

After cleaning up my plate I walked into Dimitri's bedroom to get my stuff. Dimitri followed me.

"I was going to take Lily to the park today... So, maybe we should talk later." Dimitri explained. I didn't know if he was saying this because it was true or he just didn't want to be with me any longer. Either was fine with me. And even though I wanted to talk to him I knew my mother had a few choice words she wanted to give me despite her laughter at the table. "Unless you want to come with?" He asked

"Yeah, Yeah, come with us. Please Roza." Lily said running excitedly to us. I didn't want to hurt her feelings by not going, but I didn't want to intrude. Plus I doubted Dimitri would want me to come with.

"You wouldn't be intruding." Dimitri said as if reading my thoughts. That man had always known me so well.

I said I would go with them to which Lily cheered. But I had to go back to my room and change first. I mean I wasn't even wearing underwear. So we decided we would go at noon. And only the three of us were going, the talk with my mother would have to wait, thank god.

I was getting ready to leave when Dimitri came up to me.

"About last night..." He started to say. Here it comes he was going to tell me that it was wrong and shouldn't have happened. My mind flashed back to the last time he told me he regretted being with me. After Victor used the Lust Charm against us. Suddenly I was annoyed, I did not want to be lectured like a child, so I beat him to the punch.

"You don't have to explain or apologize. Last night was just that, last night. It's in the past, anyways we just got caught up in the moment, I really don't even remember most of it. I mean, it was just sex. We can forget this ever even happened." Dimitri's face dropped as I said that. "I don't want you to think I'm intruding on your life. I just want to get to know my daughter." I sort of rambled on the last few parts due to my nerves getting the best of me.

"Good," Dimitri said tightly.

This was NOT good. In fact I believed it to be awful. How could I have said those stupid things? Shit, I let my emotions get the better of me. Stupid, stupid, stupid!

I can't believe what I said God, _It's was just sex..._When the hell was anything just sex? NEVER, or at least it wasn't with Dimitri and I.

Holy Fuck I needed another drink.

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**Just when Rose and Dimitri seem to be taking a step forward, Rose opens her big mouth and they're knocked two steps back. And how cute is Lily? Sassy, just like her Mom and Grandma!**

**Tell me how you feel!**

**P.S. There will be some serious Rose, Dimitri, and Lily family time in the next chapter! See ya in a week!**

**REVIEW!**


	13. Big Girls Don't Cry

**I want to thank all of you who review. It means so much to me, you have no idea. It's one of the things that keeps me going. So keep that up. Please keep reviewing I know you all are capable of a lot more reviews then your giving, so please dont forget about me! I love hearing everything you have to say. Good or bad.**

**So here is some major Hathaway/Belikov family time like promised!**

**Enjoy.**

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**Chapter 13- Big Girls Don't Cry**

Parks. I'll be honest with you; I kind of sort of hate them. Well the thought of them. A bunch of spoiled sweaty kids running around like maniacs, eating sand and beating up on each other. Yeah sounds like lots of fun. The times I went to the park as a kid usually resulted in fights, and I was the first 5 year-old to ever be banned.

With that said it's pretty obvious I'm doing this for Lily.

Right now I was about to enter my room so I could change and hopefully not be too late to the park.

I opened the door, and found myself looking straight at my mother. Jeez how did she do that?

My face flamed up as I thought about how she knew about what happened last night. It was stupid because it's not like I was a virgin coming home to tell my parents that last night I lost it. I mean she obviously knew I wasn't a virgin. Lily wasn't immaculately conceived. And I didn't spend my weekends playing chess with my friends in California. She knew all about my illicit extracurricular activities.

But still even after knowing all that I was embarrassed. I mean good god there was a big chance she heard me! I didn't want her to think badly of me, not more than she already did. I wanted her to be proud of me. Blame it on my mommy issues or whatever. But I couldn't shake the guilty feeling.

"Umm hi." I tried and failed miserably at being nonchalant. She looked at me with one eyebrow raised as if asking me if I was really going to pretend noting happened.

"Rosemarie, you are a grown ass woman. If you want to spend the night with the father of your daughter, then who am I to judge." My Mom said eying me. I was completely and utterly shocked, I almost said so too but then she continued. "Anyway between you and me that boy needed a good fuck. His eunuch behavior is not healthy." She finished happily.

"Oh my god Mom." I muttered, covering my face. Did my mother just make a sexual joke? About my sex life?

"What? I can't swear? Where do you think you got your sailor mouth from?" She shrugged. "Beside that's not the point. The point is that you got drunk last night."

"Yeah, I know it was wrong. Trust me I was not intending on that." I rolled my eyes at my mother; I did not need to be lectured.

"Fine," She stood from my desk chair and whipped her hands on her pants.

"Really that's it?" I was kind of shocked I was expecting at least a little yelling.

"Yes that is it Rosemarie. Honestly if I just found out what you did, I think I'd need a few bottles of vodka and a good fuck too."

Again my jaw dropped, another sexual joke. What was the world coming to?

My Mom rolled her eyes at me, and pulled open my door, "grow up Rose," she told me before shutting the door behind herself.

Shaking her out of my thoughts I went to get dressed. I pulled on a pair of skinny jeans along with a dark green Cardigan thrown over a black tank. I also put on some black vans. I felt better being in my own clothes and moved to brush out the tangles I'm sure I had in my hair. I didn't bother with make-up because really what was the point? I was about to go play on a playground and it was dark satisfied with my appearance I went downstairs and out of the building, making my way to the elementary campus where the park was.

Holy Shit.

I walked up a vast wooden structure with swings, slides, monkey bars, ropes climbing walls, and everything else munchkins could ever want to kill each other with. Ops I mean play with.

Honestly they did look like they were killing each other, so really I don't blame myself for making that mistake. They were crawling on top of each other, pushing, hitting and yelling. I wanted nothing more than to run very fast and very far. Lily's name became a mantra that I had to chant continuously in my head as I walked up to the snake pit that was the playground.

"Hey." Dimitri said as I walked up to the playground

"Hey yourself."

"Roza!" Lily exclaimed running over to me.

"Hey, you ready to go play?" I asked.

"Yes!" She squealed. "Will you play with me?" Lily asked eagerly.

"Sure kid," I smiled.

"Daddy, you can play too?"

Dimitri groaned a little. I laughed. "Oh, come on Daddy, please?" I teased, clasping my hands together, tilting my head to the side, and sticking out my lower lip, copying Lily's cute little pout.

"Fine," he gave in with a slight smile.

Oh, that smile; the bane of my existence. The smile that made me weak in the knees. He had to know what that smile did to me, and every other girl who had ever either had the pleasure, or had been unfortunate enough to be on receiving end of it. Though that probably wasn't many, those smiles were rare and I was lucky enough to see one today. Though I don't know if it was because of Lily or me. I sighed and forced myself to ignore said smile.

Lily and Dimitri took off running in the opposite direction and I followed closely behind them. Lily was in seventh heaven, loving the fact that she had two people chasing her around. We cornered her and she screamed and giggled before dodging through my legs. I could have easily caught her, but instead I feigned frustration and disappointment and turned to chase her again. I didn't want to end our little game early. I had to admit I was having a lot of fun.

Eventually Lily begged me to push her on the swing and Dimitri gladly sat down on the park bench. He watched as I pushed Lily on the swing.

"Higher Roza! Higher!" My little girl was so brave. I pushed her a little higher and smiled at her tinkling laugh.

"Rose," Dimitri called out nervously. "Maybe you shouldn't push her so high."

"Why Not?" I called out. Lily was having so much fun. Yelling that she could almost touch the moon.

Everything seemed to happened in slow motion. On the backwards swing, at the highest point, Lily's grip slipped and she starting falling. I've always thought that if something like that were to happen my training would snap me into motion and I would be ready to act. Instead, I stood there, like a dumb-ass, unable to actually move my body; frozen. I started out with a gasp, which was followed by a scream. I was sure she was going to hit the ground and break open her skull. But she didn't. Somehow my arms shot out, wrapped around Lily's small body and pulled her into my chest as we both crumbled to the ground.

"Shit!" I heard Dimitri shout as he bolted towards us. Lily was wailing. We sat on the ground, my arms still tightly around the little girl. I knew I was pale, shock and fear clearly registered on my face.

Dimitri fell to his knees in front of me and tried to pull Lily from my arms, but my grip was too tight. There was no way I was letting her go. So he had to settle for wrapping his arms around us both.

"Oh Lily, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry," I chanted.

Dimitri didn't speak. He just rested his cheek against Lily's head and waited for her cries to taper off, leaving only the occasional hiccough and sniffle.

Dimitri also didn't yell at me. He really didn't need to. I was devastated that I had allowed Lily to get hurt on my first day spending time with her. He must of saw my face and deduced that I was suffering enough.

"It's probably time for us to go," He finally whispered. We had been there for two hours before this, and Lily's eyes were heavy as she rested against my shoulder and I was pretty sure that she had had enough for the day.

I followed Dimitri to their apartment, carrying Lily, still not wanting to let her go. When we got to the apartment I followed Dimitri to Lily's room and gently put her down in her bed. I looked to Dimitri to make sure this was okay and he nodded whispering that it was her nap time anyway.

"Just get it out Dimitri. I know you want to," I grumbled once we reached the living room.

He silently slipped his hand into mine. I jumped and my eyes flew open, zeroing in on where I was now touching him. He squeezed.

"When Lily first turned two, Christian and Lissa took her down to the pond. They let her play on the rocks and she fell off and broke her arm."

I tore my eyes from our joined hands and looked up at him.

"Last year, your mother was babysitting. When she wasn't paying attention, Lily climbed up on the countertop to get something and ended up falling and hitting her head on the floor. She ended up with a concussion."

"Why are you telling me this?"

"Because we all make mistakes, Rose. Even I've been guilty of it. When Lily was three months old, I left her on the changing table for just a split second to turn around and grab a onsie out of the drawer. In that split second, she rolled herself over, for the first time, and fell straight off the table. It's a learning experience. She was scared, yes, but she'll get over it. I guarantee that next time we come to the park, she'll be begging you to push her that high again."

"Uh, no, not going to happen," I snorted; I never wanted to see her hurt again.

He smiled at me. "See, learning experience. It's not your fault. It was just an accident. Lily will be fine." Dimitri said.

"I hope so." Dimitri didn't say anything then. And the awkward silence grew.

"You can't tell her." He blurted out. He must have seen my questioning look because then he said, "You can't tell her you're her mom. At least not yet."

"Oh. Of course, I wasn't going to say something until you wanted me too."

"You can't hurt her. Not like you hurt me." Dimitri said softly. I saw the pain in his eyes for a split second before he covered it up. I swallowed the lump in my throat.

"I, I never meant to hurt you Dimitri." I choked out,

"But you did. And you can't do that to Lily. She's just a kid, she shouldn't have to deal with that type of rejection."

"I wouldn't do that to her." I insisted.

"No? Because I think you already have once."

"No. I-I wont make the same mistake again. I swear. I should have never left her in

the first place. You have no idea how much I regret leaving her." I stuttered, my

words caught in my throat.

"But not me right?" He spit.

I blinked and shook my head, "No-I never wanted- I didn't," I rambled unable to

form a complete sentence.

"Just stop. I don't want to hear your excuses." Dimitri said. He was fuming now.

And as much I wanted to argue, to defend myself. There was nothing I could say

because he was right.

"You're right." I breathed. "I'm sorry."

"Sorry doesn't fix the last four years of our lives." Dimitri growled at me.

"I know, but I'm trying now. I want to be apart of her life. I want to be there with

her." I looked right into Dimitri's eyes. "I need her."

"Well it doesn't matter what you need. It matters what Lily needs." He looked away

from me and muttered, "We don't always get what we need."

"Why? Why are you saying that? Why can't we have what we need?" I questioned.

"Because." What was he five?

"Because why?" I put my hands on my hips angrily.

"Because I needed you, and you weren't there for me. I had to raise our daughter

Alone for four years, after loosing you. It was like loosing half of myself. I was so

broken Rose." I couldn't look into his eyes anymore.

"Dimitri." I breathed. I didn't know what to say. No one should have to feel what

he was feeling but what can I do about it?

"Did you ever really love me?" He asked blankly staring out the window.

"Yes." _And I still do._

"But not anymore." It wasn't a question it was a statement. An incorrect statement.

"I-" An incorrect statement that I didn't dare to correct, I couldn't even speak.

"So us?" he asked.

"Not now. Right now there's only you and I and Lily. Last night was a mistake. So

I'm sorry if I led you to believe differently. I have to focus on Lily right now. The

first four years of her life I have ignored her and only focused on myself. I owe it to

her to give her all my attention." I said hastily shooting him down while crushing

my own heart.

Dimitri just nodded a hard mask obscuring any emotion that he felt.

"I think it's time you leave." He said softly.

"That's probably for the best." I replied. Then I walked out of the apartment and didn't look back. That was it Dimitri and I were officially

over. I really did it this time. I would be lucky if he ever talked to me again. There was no going back after this. My heart died at the

realization.

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**Don't hit me. I know Rose is terrible. But what's a good story without angst?**

**Please Review**_**even if your mad at Rose.**_


	14. Human

**I wish I could update more than once a week. I've gotten endless amounts of people asking for me to update sooner and more often. But I've been busy with a stupid thing called **_**"Real Life"**_** and yeah it sucks.**

**I wish I could just read and write on this site forever, but alas, I cannot. **

**I want to say thank you for all of your support. The reviews/alerts/favorites are always just so amazing to me. I mean we made it to 179 reviews, which rocks! This is kind of a filler chapter sorry but it's not completely boring. It's just setting up what's to come in the next chapter.**

**Enjoy!**

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**Human**

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I'm just going to put it out there that I'm feeling particularly bitter, today. Then again when am I not lately? It's like ever since I got here, my life has been full of ups and downs. I'm on this emotional roller coaster and I'd like to get off.

It's been a week since the "latest" Dimitri incident. And I haven't seen him since, which means I hadn't seen Lily either. I wasn't the one avoiding him. For once it was the other way around.

When I got home that night I just went to bed. I pushed passed anyone who got in my way on the way to my room. I did not look at anyone. I did not pass GO. I did not collect $200. I heard people grumbling as I roughly shoved through them, but I didn't give a shit. I couldn't face anyone, especially my mother. I didn't want her to look me in the eyes and see the horrible thing I had just done. I didn't want her to see how I just broke not only my heart, but Dimitri's too.

When I went down to the gym the next day my Mother and I ran practically silently, only the sound of our footfalls to break the awkward silence. Once we ran up to my building she broke the silence, "You're an idiot," she said calmly like we were discussing the weather.

"Excuse me?" I had started my cool down stretches and stopped in surprise at her words.

"You heard me Rosemarie." She narrowed her eyes at me. "I'm not stupid, I may not know exactly what you've done or said this time but I've noticed the way you've been acting all week. You've been mopey and moody and kind of bitchy."

Did my Mother just call me a bitch?

She continued before I could ask, "And I've seen Dimitri too, he's a mess."

What the hell? She'd seen Dimitri? And he was a mess?

"What are you talking about? Me telling him the truth about our relationship?"

"The truth? What exactly is the truth Rosemarie?" She asked.

"That we can't be together because I don't..." I trailed off but my mothers face grew hard knowing what I meant.

"Bullshit! That's a lie and you know it. Are you honestly going to stand here and look me in the eyes and tell me you don't love him?"

"Of course I love him, just in a platonic way." I tried to force the lies out of my mouth hoping they would appease her.

"You're acting like a child Rosemarie. Lying is for children. I thought you were past all that. Lying is the absolute worst thing a person can do in a relationship. Do you know why Rose?" I just stared at her, unable to move as my motor functions were down "Because that shows your partner that they can't trust you. It also shows your partner that you don't love and respect them enough to tell them the truth. Once that line of communication is broken down there is no relationship. And if there is, it's not a healthy one. If you're going to act like a child, a novice, then I'll treat you like one."

_How dare she say that to me! When she hasn't even had a healthy relationship with her daughter until a few weeks ago. And what the hell did her last sentence mean? She was going to treat me like a novice?_

"I don't know what to say. What do you want me to say? Huh? That I love Dimitri? Fine done, I love Dimitri, and no, not in a platonic way. Are you happy now? Does that make you happy? That I'm still in love with him and I completely fucked up my chance with him?" I spat at her.

"You're missing the point, as usual. Everyone else knows you love him; except for the one person that really matters, Dimitri. What I'm saying is that he loves you so much, even after all these years. And I think you actually do have a shot to be with him, one last chance." I looked into her honest eyes and for the first time I felt hopeful. "But you have to be quick about it."

"Okay, I'll tell him as soon as I can." My Mother left then, nodding her head at me.

Once she disappeared my shoulders sagged. I felt like pulling out my own damn hair. How was I supposed to fix this when Dimitri wanted nothing to do with me? I thought I was doing the right thing in giving him his space. I didn't want to make things worse, but of course like always, no matter what I do, I fuck up everything I touched.

With a huff I hauled my sweaty ass up the stairs and threw my self into the shower just standing numbly under the warm water until my stomach protested, against skipping breakfast this morning and was demanding I eat lunch now.

Once dry and dressed I headed for the Dining Hall. I just wanted to grab a sandwich or two… or a dozen. I wasn't sure; I'd see when I got there. I just know I did not want to stay there, and then I'd have to deal with all the staring. Ever since I got here people looked at me oddly, but ever since my scene with Dimitri people full out stared when I pasted by. I guess the scene over Lily reminded everyone exactly why I had left, and that coming back was obviously not an original idea. I shuddered to think what I would do if some actually dared to talk to me. God, I was in no mood today.

I walked briskly up to the counter and notice with delight they were serving breakfast for lunch.

Score!

I grabbed a tray and piled it high with food. I realized I had put together the exact breakfast that I had eaten last weekend. The first morning I spent with my daughter and Dimitri.

I came to the startling realization that not only did I miss Lily, but I missed Dimitri too. It's been a week since I've seen either one of them, and my heart ached because of it.

I showed up for work every single day. But Lily didn't show. Apparently Guardian Belikov's daughter was home sick. On Monday, Lily Belikova had a cold. On Tuesday, she had laryngitis. On Wednesday, she had an ear infection. On Thursday, she had the stomach flu. And on Friday, Lily had the chicken pox. It's a good thing there was no school on Saturday because Guardian Belikov would most likely call in saying his daughter was on her deathbed.

Dimitri is by no means a stupid man. He knew there was no way someone could have all those sicknesses in the same week. He was sending a message. He didn't want to see me. Well, message received.

That week of school was complete and utter hell! And shockingly enough not just because Lily wasn't there.

It was Violet. She looked at me differently that week. Like she was trying to decide whether or not I was the horrible person everyone talked about. She must have heard all the rumors and I'm sure she heard Dimitri and I arguing in the hall, we weren't exactly quiet. Sure she was still nice, she'd smile when she saw me. And slowly walk away from me never turning her back to me like I'd pounce or something.

"So... Did you fuck your baby daddy yet?" I heard a male voice say from behind me. So startled by the interaction I choked on my orange juice. As I turned I saw the familiar jet-black hair with breathtaking baby blues that sat upon none other than Christian Ozera.

"What the hell?" I asked

"Language Christian!" Lissa scolded at the same time.

"She's 6-months-old Liss. She has no idea what anyone's saying." Then he directed his attention to the baby that I now noticed was in his lap, "Right? Tell Mommy you have no clue what Daddy's saying!" I stared slightly afraid of the sound and sight of Christian using "baby-talk".

Fucking. Weird.

"Are you going to sit or just stare Rose?" Christian asked moving his attention back to me.

"I-uh-" I looked at the door only a few yards away, I was so close to escaping here unscathed. I looked to Lissa then and her eyes were wide and hopeful. Damn. I sat down with a sigh and dropped my tray on the table nosily, earning a giggle from the drool machine in Christians lap.

"So did you?" Lissa asked shaking me from my thoughts.

"Did I what?"

"Did. You. Fuck. Your. Baby. Daddy. Yet?" Christian repeated each word as if he was questioning an ignorant child, Lissa rolled her eyes, I assume at his language, but looked at me waiting.

"Don't call him that!" I deflected.

"Oh my god, you did!" Lissa gasped a little too loudly, I looked around paranoid and glared at a few nosey people who looked our way.

"Shut the hell up!" I hissed.

"Oh Yay! That's a weeks worth night time feedings for you Christian!"

"What?" I questioned looking back and forth between them. Christian was scowling shaking his head and Lissa was doing a happy dance swinging her daughters chubby arms back and forth to make her dance along with her. "Did you two bet on whether or not I'd sleep with Dimitri?" I asked my jaw dropped. "Lissa you really have so little faith in me?"

That halted her happy dancing. "No Rose, I just knew you two couldn't stay apart, you love each other." She smiled at me sweetly.

"I had no faith in you Rose, Adrian's a big gossip," I blushed at the fact they knew about that.

"Then why?" I asked confused

"I had lots of faith in Dimitri, obviously it was misplaced." Christian shook his head again, grumbling the last part.

I took a bite of my toast, "You two are unbelievable," I glared at them both.

"Oh don't be mad Rosie," Christian taunted. I glared again at that name. "How can you be mad at this cute face?" Christian lifted Krissa up. I looked at the baby, and she giggled again blowing a spit bubble, which popped and sent her into another fit of giggles. Disgusting.

I leaned away not wanting the thing so close to me.

"Oh my god. Is Rosie afraid of babies?" Christian laughed extending the baby out further. I leaned back even more

"No, of curse not," but I couldn't bring myself to lean back in. She was within spitting distance. Lissa tried to stifle a giggle and failed. "Okay, very funny, now take her back."

"Why don't you hold her?" I stared at him dumbly. Was he fucking serious?

"No thanks…" I shook my head. I was not holding that thing.

Christian just extended his arms out farther, "Take the baby Rose." Oh god he was serious.

"No, take her back Christian." I extended a hand touching the baby's stomach and pushing her away slighly, being very careful to avoid touching the drool on her shirt.

He seemed thoughtful for a moment; I breathed a sigh of relief thinking he was going to take back the baby. "Catch," He said loudly letting go of Krissa.

I gasped in shock, but my hands shot out to catch the baby without my brain's knowledge.

"Christian!" Lissa shrieked punching him hard in the arm, "what if she hadn't caught her! Are you insane? That's our only child!" Her face was red with rage as she hit his arm again.

The jostling of the baby and the sound of her parents fighting seemed to upset Krissa and her face scrunched up. "Umm… guys?" I asked weakly. Oh fuck I knew what was coming next. I had the baby in my hands but they were still outstretched, holding her over the table.

"Oh common I knew Rose would catch her!" He defended himself.

"What if she hadn't? Do you even think? I swear sometimes you-"

They continued fighting and Krissa's face started to turn a shade of pink, her lip trembling. Shit. Shit. Shit. "Guys," I said a little louder, still ignored.

By now Krissa had opened her mouth taking a huge breath as in preparation. "Guys!" I practically yelled. My yelling must have been the last straw and she let out a loud wail that turned more than a few heads in the dinning hall. "Fuck! What do I do?" I looked frantically between the two, who now gave me their full attention.

Lissa looked at me oddly, "Rose… have you held a baby before?" She asked astonished. I mean yeah I get it. I had a four-year-old daughter it was hard to believe I had never held a baby before, but I also gave up said daughter the day she was born.

I was too panicked to speak so I shook my head violently back and forth.

"Hold her closer to you," Lissa directed me. She wanted me to bring the possessed thing closer to me? So I could what? Go deaf?

"No way!" I refused finding my voice. "Just take her!" I begged.

"No Rose, you can do it." She smiled sweetly and all I wanted to do was toss the baby across the room like a live grenade.

I looked to Christian for help, but he held his hands up in a gesture that said _you're on your own. _

Bastards.

I squeezed my eyes shut and brought the baby to my chest in an awkward cradle.

Fuck she was still wailing.

"Now what," I opened my eyes and peaked at Lissa.

"Bounce her," came a reply.

I bounce up and down begging for the cry to stop, but it only got louder.

"She's a baby not a damn rocket ship, what are you trying to do? Take lift off?" came another snarky reply. I mentally flipped him off but slowed my bouncing like he said. Finally the wailing quieted to a whimper, and I could breath again. I slowly opened my eyes and looked down at Krissa. I had to admit, she looked kind of cute. She had quieted and was now staring at me with bright green eyes; she was studying me probably trying to figure out who the hell was holding her.

"Awe Rose! I think Krissa likes you," Lissa squealed, practically bouncing in her seat.

"I have to admit Liss, you make pretty babies." Lissa smiled and looked to Christian proudly. "I mean she could've gone horribly wrong with having half of his DNA," I jerked my head to Christian to clarify. "Luckily it seems she got all your good traits." I stuck my tongue out childishly at Christian and laughed. It was obviously a joke, Krissa didn't have much hair but the hair she did have was coming in an impossibly dark black, just like her Daddy's.

"Come off it Hathaway and give me back my baby," As he said that I smelled something horrific and knew instantly where it came from.

"Here," I said practically shoving the baby at him. Disgusting. The baby lost all her appeal to me after that. Sadly so did my food, I forced myself to swallow my eggs and drink the rest of my orange juice but there was no way I was eating anything else after the bomb that baby had just dropped. "Well now that I'm thoroughly grossed out, I'm off to another training session."

I jumped up and snagged a piece of bacon from Christian's tray, smirking at the glare he sent me. I wasn't even hungry and I definitely had my own bacon on my plate. But after the bitch move he pulled today he was now on my shit list.

I jogged lightly back to my room noting I was already late but I swear my shirt smelled like baby shit and I just could not wear this another minute so my mother would just have to wait. Maybe I'd get lucky and she would even cancel the sessions today. That would honestly be a blessing, now that I was out of this shirt and tugging on a sports bra and a pair of spandex Nike shorts and slipped back on my running shoes from this morning, I felt better. I jogged to get to the gym so I wouldn't be too late.

I had to admit despite the bomb Krissa dropped. I was happy I had held her and even got her to stop crying. It made me feel like maybe I could do this Mommy thing and not be too terrible at it.

I pushed open the gym doors and immediately began apologizing for being late. "I know I'm late but I really had to change. Krissa-"

I stopped dead in my tracks when I realized it wasn't my mother standing in the gym.

"Hello Rose," Dimitri greeted me.

I just blinked. "Hi." I squeezed my eyes shut then opened them again. Shit he really was there. "Where's my Mom?" I asked dumbly.

"She had a conflict, so she asked me to take over your training sessions until she resolved it." I nodded dumbly.

"And did she say when that would be?" I asked hoping it would be sometime soon.

"No."

That Bitch! That's what she meant by treating me like a novice. She was going to force Dimitri to train me again until I told him the truth. I gulped. How was I supposed to train with him again? In this gym. Where we first fell in love.

Dimitri turned around and picked something up from the floor. I tried, I really did try to avert my eyes from Dimitri's ass but I'm weak and I couldn't help but ogle that perfect ass. Damn it. We hadn't even been together in this gym 10 minutes and I was having impure thoughts.

So caught up in my thoughts I just barely noticed when he threw a pair of padded gloves at me. I guess we were sparing today. I slipped on my gloves and took a few minutes to stretch before making my way into the circle we were sparing in.

At first no one moved, then I got tired of waiting, knowing whether I made the first move or not my ass was probably going to end up on the mat.

And it did.

Again and again and again.

I had beaten my mother a few times, and by few I mean 2. Dimitri was another story though. I had forgotten how fast and agile he was, plus I was a little distracted, halfway through our training session he took off his shirt. How was that fighting fair? I mean I didn't get my ass completely kicked, but I didn't last too long up against him.

The last time he pinned me he shook his head at me.

"What?" I demanded still trapped below him.

"You aren't training enough."

"It's only been a couple of weeks," I defended myself. I completely off my game today but I couldn't tell him why.

He pursed his lips, still looking at me. I wanted nothing more than to press my body against his. To feel his lips against mine again, but I held myself back.

"There's something I want to tell you." I breathed out tenderly. I didn't really want to tell him here. But I wanted to say what I had to say before I chickened out.

"Me first." Dimitri must have realized he was still on top of me and sat up, bringing me up with him. "Listen I'm really sorry about last week. It was really unfair to spring all of that on to you. You know, all that stuff about us. It was really childish of me to avoid you as well. I don't know why, I let my emotions interfere with my life. So I'm taking your advice, Lily is all that matters right now. In fact we're going to the park tomorrow afternoon and you should come." He smiled slightly at me.

He was possibly the only person who could apologize and make you feel worse about yourself. And on top of all of that I was about to_ "grow a pair and tell him"_ and he tells me I was right all along. Why the hell is this my life?

I wanted nothing more then to tell him I loved him. I wanted nothing more then to tell him that I needed him. That, I didn't want to live without him. But I couldn't. After all the times I've rejected him it wouldn't be fair to try to get what I want now. Not again. What if this really makes him happier? Who am I to take away his happiness yet again just because I'm selfish?

So I just smiled and nodded my head, "I'd love to come… to the park, I mean. I'd love to go to the park with you and Lily," my face had to have been bright red by that point.

Dimitri just chuckled and winked, "I'd loved for you to come too Roza."

Fuck me. Literally.

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**Rose's and Dimitri's P.O.V will be in the next chapter.**

**Please Review!**


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